Post by mex1111 on Aug 3, 2008 19:16:05 GMT -5
;D
OK. I'm smiling because I have been thinking about this for days. Weeks... And I found this wonderful message board with intelligent, experienced women! Any input you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I am very torn!
Here's my story...
I've been with my fiance for almost a year now. I recently found out about the birth of his four month old son.
We can get past the shady parts, including the 2 AM (5 AM in her time zone) call from BM saying she was his wife and that they had a son together. OK maybe we can't skip this...
A few months ago my fiance told me that his ex would not leave him alone. I believe him because she was calling on our first date the year before. He was upset because she went through his mail to see who he had been calling, and told him that she would make his life impossible. So she called me to find out who I was, and continued to call me for three days until my mom finally picked up and listened to her story.
Her story was what keeps me doubting. She insisted that they were married, provided a wedding date, and said that she lives with him. I wouldn't know because I never went to his house! She even offered to give her sister-in-law's phone number for verification, but my mom refused on the grounds that it could be a friend playing along. She was polite to my mother, and sent me a picture of my fiance holding the baby... What could I say to that? She stopped calling.
I cried, of course, for a long time. I couldn't believe that he'd lie to me for so long. The same night I received the 2 AM call, I received a call from a Texas number. This would have to have been her sister-in-law. She left a message asking me to answer, nicely. I eventually called that number to verify, but "sister-in-law" husband answered instead. I asked him if it was true that my fiance was married, and he said that as far as he knew he was, but that I couldn't completely trust his knowledge. He told me that BM had called in the middle of the night crying because she found that her husband was cheating on her (this was after she talked to me).
How could so many people be involved in a lie?
I'm in denial, right?
When I talked to my fiance about the situation, he eventually admitted that he had a baby, but said that he was not married. If they're living together, he needs to tell me.
I did a trace on the numbers she called me from. One of those phones were registered in his name. He said that he had gotten it for her when they came up from Miami or somethin' like that... How could they end up being neighbors, like he says, all the way from Miami!? They're living together!
I told him I was done with him the day I spoke to his sister's husband. But he called me and asked why I was saying the things I had said.
You know what, this is all falling apart!
I don't even know if I should finish the story!
...
I'll tell you what's going on now.
He still calls me, except once a day instead of two or three. We are still together, long distance since last year.
I am assuming that he is not married or living with her, as crazy as it sounds. There are just too many contradictions that I have not mentioned coming from both sides for me to figure out who's telling the truth.
He tells me that he needs time to straighten things out. Yesterday he told me that he saw her, but that she was very angry at him. He says she's like that every time he tries to talk to her, so it's slowing down the process.
I've already told him that I don't want to ruin a potential family. I feel that my role is to encourage him to fix things for the sake of his son, even if it means him eventually going back to her. He says that they weren't in love, that what he did was a big mistake that he feels very badly about. When we met he told me that she was a very jealous woman, which is why he couldn't stay with her. He says that no one can force him to live with a woman he doesn't love. It's true!
I'm only sticking around because I love him. We were due to be married after I graduated from college.
Lord! I'm waiting for the let down. But I don't want to completely give up on my fiance. Something's telling me not to!
OK. I'm smiling because I have been thinking about this for days. Weeks... And I found this wonderful message board with intelligent, experienced women! Any input you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I am very torn!
Here's my story...
I've been with my fiance for almost a year now. I recently found out about the birth of his four month old son.
We can get past the shady parts, including the 2 AM (5 AM in her time zone) call from BM saying she was his wife and that they had a son together. OK maybe we can't skip this...
A few months ago my fiance told me that his ex would not leave him alone. I believe him because she was calling on our first date the year before. He was upset because she went through his mail to see who he had been calling, and told him that she would make his life impossible. So she called me to find out who I was, and continued to call me for three days until my mom finally picked up and listened to her story.
Her story was what keeps me doubting. She insisted that they were married, provided a wedding date, and said that she lives with him. I wouldn't know because I never went to his house! She even offered to give her sister-in-law's phone number for verification, but my mom refused on the grounds that it could be a friend playing along. She was polite to my mother, and sent me a picture of my fiance holding the baby... What could I say to that? She stopped calling.
I cried, of course, for a long time. I couldn't believe that he'd lie to me for so long. The same night I received the 2 AM call, I received a call from a Texas number. This would have to have been her sister-in-law. She left a message asking me to answer, nicely. I eventually called that number to verify, but "sister-in-law" husband answered instead. I asked him if it was true that my fiance was married, and he said that as far as he knew he was, but that I couldn't completely trust his knowledge. He told me that BM had called in the middle of the night crying because she found that her husband was cheating on her (this was after she talked to me).
How could so many people be involved in a lie?
I'm in denial, right?
When I talked to my fiance about the situation, he eventually admitted that he had a baby, but said that he was not married. If they're living together, he needs to tell me.
I did a trace on the numbers she called me from. One of those phones were registered in his name. He said that he had gotten it for her when they came up from Miami or somethin' like that... How could they end up being neighbors, like he says, all the way from Miami!? They're living together!
I told him I was done with him the day I spoke to his sister's husband. But he called me and asked why I was saying the things I had said.
You know what, this is all falling apart!
I don't even know if I should finish the story!
...
I'll tell you what's going on now.
He still calls me, except once a day instead of two or three. We are still together, long distance since last year.
I am assuming that he is not married or living with her, as crazy as it sounds. There are just too many contradictions that I have not mentioned coming from both sides for me to figure out who's telling the truth.
He tells me that he needs time to straighten things out. Yesterday he told me that he saw her, but that she was very angry at him. He says she's like that every time he tries to talk to her, so it's slowing down the process.
I've already told him that I don't want to ruin a potential family. I feel that my role is to encourage him to fix things for the sake of his son, even if it means him eventually going back to her. He says that they weren't in love, that what he did was a big mistake that he feels very badly about. When we met he told me that she was a very jealous woman, which is why he couldn't stay with her. He says that no one can force him to live with a woman he doesn't love. It's true!
I'm only sticking around because I love him. We were due to be married after I graduated from college.
Lord! I'm waiting for the let down. But I don't want to completely give up on my fiance. Something's telling me not to!