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Post by gemmani on Aug 5, 2008 14:49:00 GMT -5
I knew I'd have to meet BM sooner or later........
This weekend, my STB step daughter is having a dance recital. Of course, BM will be there.
Fiance wants me to go, but left the choice up to me. On one hand, I do NOT want to go. I don't want to be a part of any drama (that she causes.) I don't like drama, especially in front of the kids. I just don't want any repercussions of some sort. Plus, I don't want to be judged by her (as us females tend to do). I don't want to feel uncomfortable.... (I know. Its not about me.)
On the other hand, I feel like I have to go. Like if I don't go, it will set a precedence from this point on, and it will be EXPECTED that I won't attend skids' events. I have to establish my place in the scheme of things.
So I guess I'll go......
Let me tell you, the DUMBEST thoughts are running through my head right now. Like, how will I do my hair, or what clothes I should wear. Because that really matters, right? SMH
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Post by amillmack on Aug 6, 2008 8:59:41 GMT -5
Go and stop worrying. So what if she judges you??? My BF's CBM calls me fat and ugly all the time, but I smile because he's in the bed with me every night!!! (I also smile because she's got the yellowest/green teeth and she jiggles when she walks and her boobies are so sloppy and she never wears a bra - so tacky!). If you don't go, just think, she's winning because she's intimidating you into not going. Your fiance wouldn't have asked if he didn't want you there, so my advice is get that hair fried, dyed and laid to the side, pick out your best outfit, get those nails done, toes, too and get to that recital. And besides, your SD will appreciate that you came because it shows that you're willing to look past all that drama her mama caused to be there FOR HER!
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Post by gemmani on Aug 6, 2008 9:47:42 GMT -5
Thanks for that. I feel better about it today, its just not that serious. You are completely right, lol.
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Post by mex1111 on Aug 7, 2008 13:01:01 GMT -5
Yeah! (late, I know) lol
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Post by gemmani on Aug 11, 2008 11:30:30 GMT -5
LOL, it was like I had a front row seat to a bad play. It lasted from 12pm to 5pm in a park. Longest day ever. BM and her sister were just acting out, trying to be seen. They would stand in front of us and give each other high-fives, saying loudly how BM has "moved on" and how I can have her sloppy seconds and how my fiance doesn't matter. They would stand around grilling us. They would talk to each other and point to my hand (engagement ring). They never said anything to me.
They also were trying to act like SUPER MOM & AUNITIE!! Grabbing the kids, hugging them, spinning them around. It looked very fake to me. That was confirmed by the kids, they were saying how mommy's acting weird why was she acting like that.
The oldest skid has been wanting her mom and I to meet for the longest. She came to me and asked if I wanted to meet her, because her mom said she doesn't like me and doesn't want to meet me. Whenver she saw me with one of the kids, one of the "dynamic duo" would invent a reason for the kids to go with them. Then the kids would come back to us, and the dynamic duo would get upset b/c they kids weren't staying where they were sitting.
She would say nasty comments while standing like 2 feet away, they even gave my fiance the finger at one point. I couldn't stop laughing!! So childish.
We were basically staying in our area, enjoying the show. BM and her sis kept finding reasons to come over to our area so they can snub us. I would keep doing what I was doing, taking pictures. BM said at one point (again, like 3 feet away talking to her sister) how I was stuck up and walking with my nose in the air, and how I don't matter. (Funny, for someone that doesn't matter, she sure spent an awful long time around me and talking about me. )She made comments about my clothes and how I seem like a shallow person, and how I'm not as hot as I think (don't remember saying that at all). Saying that the kids will realize what kind of person I am.
I swear, my stomach was killing me, we could not stop laughing. I just couldn't believe that these two grown a$$ women were acting like they were right out of high school. Pride? Self-esteem much?? They knew I heard them, but I really didn't see the point in saying anything in response, which mad them madder. Then they tried to talk louder, saying how fly they were and how a "certain somebody" should be dying to get them back.
At the end of the day, the kids started their usual arguing of "who gets to hold my hands (and which hand they want, lol)" fiance gives me a kiss, and BM is standing there, giving us the evil eye. I smiled at her, said have a nice day, and we went home and ate pizza.
It was a long day, but fun.
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Post by mex1111 on Aug 11, 2008 23:00:37 GMT -5
Geez, that was terrible!
I was gonna respond on your first post here, that it wouldn't matter what you wore, she'd find something to say. It was inevitable. You know women can find anything "wrong" with other women (talk too loud, too much makeup, needs some deodorant, skirt's too short, boobs too small.. ANYTHING)...
I'm glad you were able to remain grown. lol..
Congratulations! They were a mess. Hot mess. lol
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Post by jaylady999 on Aug 12, 2008 10:08:56 GMT -5
Um, I am just about speechless at the childishness of this BM you are having to deal with. This is just some sad mess! How old is this girl? Wow. I see what you are up against and your best defense is to continue to be you(mature) and love her children in the midst of her foolishness. Again, WOW. I just almost feel sad for her.  |
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Post by gemmani on Aug 12, 2008 10:38:14 GMT -5
Yeah, I know ladies. Bm will be 27 and her sis is like 29 or 30. All I kept thinking was, THIS person is the kids' primary role model?  ? This may seem arrogant of me to say, but I feel like I'm the only proper female role model they have. I take that very seriously. It would be such a d**n shame if they turned out like her, they are too cute for that. I know I only have them on weekends and that there are limits to my influence on them. But I feel like I have to try my best to show them what a responsible adult (WOMAN) is about, especially since 2 of the 3 kids are girls. That's my promise to them. |
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Post by bmdramaof2 on Aug 12, 2008 12:54:09 GMT -5
Congrats! Frist meeting is always the most interesting. I dregged mine. But you did it perfect to me I never went to there level I never gave them a reason to hate me nor said anything rude (to there face or hearing distance) Because all in all you have to deal with them for the rest of your life and it's easier to be the bigger person and not have anything hanging over your head. Nice Work!!!
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Post by gemmani on Aug 12, 2008 14:28:04 GMT -5
Bmdramaof2, that last line is golden. That's exactly right, I don't want any active, on-going drama with BM. First of all, it's exhausting. Secondly, I don't want the negativity around the kids. Whatever drama that exists now is covert and behind the scenes. BM talks about us at home. Don't really care, I kind of expect it. I don't think she counts on the fact that the kids tell us EVERYTHING she says, because they don't understand why she says those things.
Well, glad that's over with. And I'm happy that I saw BM in action for myself. I don't like relying on other people's opinions. Even though they were totally accurate.
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Post by lovejones08 on Aug 12, 2008 22:18:57 GMT -5
Ladies (CBMs) they are all so predictable as hell!!! They are not authentic at all. My DH's BM does the same childish bullsh*t when she sees me at a function she tries to be seen by any means necessary and she always has to bring one of her ignorant a$$ "friends" to help her look like a fool.
Real friends would encourage you to move on with your life and be happy not try to prove something to someone by creating an obvious seen. It's like their defense mechanism to handling the situation of their BD actually happy with someone and it's not their a$$. It is certainly a big joke!!! because he is leaving with you regardless of her behavior....LOL!! So simply minded!!
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