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Post by punkdude85 on Aug 7, 2008 15:17:44 GMT -5
So its my weekend with my son and for some reason its not going as well as other weeks. He keeps saying he wants to go to his mothers house. He never does this while hes here. He keeps mentioning his mothers boyfriend and asked me if I could invite his mother and her boyfriend to his birthday party next week. This truly hurts more than anything. Of course I want to invite his mother but im not going too... seeing her is not good for me. I cant control my emotions and find myself getting depressed just having to think about her. And invite her boyfriend hahaha itll be a cold day in hell before he steps his poor ass in my house. I dont like lying to my son because he is really smart for his age. If i just say yes to him hes going to expect them here and I dont want him to get his hopes up. I hate to see him cry and I know its not his fault but it just the way things R... My poor baby... I never wanted this life for him, for us... what can I do???
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Post by jaylady999 on Aug 7, 2008 15:37:03 GMT -5
quick question. how old is your son??
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Post by punkdude85 on Aug 7, 2008 15:37:54 GMT -5
He is going to 4 next month
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Post by jaylady999 on Aug 7, 2008 15:47:21 GMT -5
hmmmm, thats kinda a toughy. on one hand, your son wants to see his mommy and daddy together celebrating his bday, which is understandable and to a certain extent, if things can remotely be this way, i think in the younger years (5 and under) that it should not be ruled out as a possibility, if its at all possible. kids dont really care much about grown up things that we go through, they just want the simplest of things, and one of them is both of his parents celebrating his bday together. however, sometimes trying to pull this off will do more harm than good for the child. i dont blame you for not entertaining having mommys boyfriend there, but whats up with you and the mother? is it that you still have feelings for her or just the opposite, you cant stand her?
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Post by punkdude85 on Aug 7, 2008 15:54:53 GMT -5
Hahaha I wish I could hate her, call her a nasty B*i*t*c*H and all these things. But ive been single for 3 three years now and i guess still have hope that one day we will be a family again. but i know deep down inside its not going to happen. I love her very much and seeing her is to hard for me. I get depressed and anxious and I start drinking because I dont know how to handle those emotions. And to be completely honest I dont think she deserves to be here with my family and seeing us celebrate our sons birthday. But i guess thats just my bitter side talking...
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Post by jaylady999 on Aug 7, 2008 16:04:19 GMT -5
well quite honestly, i understand what you are saying and since its not detrimental to your sons life if she is not there, just a little disappointment involved, i say let it go. dont have her come. if this were something like his kindergarten graduation or something that is of milestone importance to his life, i'd tell you to suck it up and share the moment with her. but its not and you clearly still have things you need to move past with your sons mother. but if its been 3 years and you are still having issues, you might want to seek some outside help in moving on with your life. i will keep you in my prayers  |
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Post by gemmani on Aug 7, 2008 16:48:32 GMT -5
Kids from broken homes need to adjust to the fact that they will have two different households. IMO, it's best to keep things seperate so the child gets used to it. Having her there might confuse him and have him thinking that the two of you will do everything together.
My fiance and I keep everything seperate- birthdays, holidays, family events, etc. Only time we have to face BM is for the skids' events. Like this weekend, I'm going to meet BM for the 1st time b/c we kept everything seperate.
Sorry, this is so hard for you. Please keep your head up, it will get better.
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Post by jaylady999 on Aug 7, 2008 16:53:19 GMT -5
I do see your point here. i guess i am just thinking that since me and my sons father were both single during our sons very early years, we did do christmas(well he came over christmas mornings) and our sons bdays with him until he was about 3 y/o or so. but that ship sailed very quickly. LOL but i do see your point, it can certainly send a confusing message to a little one. what tangled webs we grown ups weave  |
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