What can put an end to the BM Drama?

[daddyinpdx]

I know that we've all thought about this question a thousand to a million times. What can put an end to the BM Drama?

Will we always have to live our lives on the defensive end? Making moves to counter and rid our extended families of the ongoing issues?

Was the men in the days of old right for just leaving the situation without a trace? Sparing themselves the pain and anguish of relating to the poisoned minds of their children.

I'm just curious to know, what it the cure for this ongoing dilema of BM drama?

[jaylady999]

I dont think there is anything we can do to end it, i dont think there is anything the BD can to do end it. i think the most we can hope for is to curve it as much as possible and the only role as girlfriends/fiances/wives can do is support our men and NEVER deal with BM directly. there is no need to as far as i am concerned. the only way i can see the wife dealing with BM directly at times is if children are in the custody of the father full time. i think thats why BM in my situation had me and DH thinking their children were coming to live with us to take advantage of a much better school system thats in our district as opposed to Chicago Public School. i think she knows she'd have no choice but to deal with me as it relates to the kids and schooling where i would otherwise stay out of it and help DH help his BM with their children. but it dont matter, she nixed that plan after almost 6 months of talking about it. nevermind whats best for the kids, lets just do whats best for BM, as usual

[ty1981]

We can pray, pray, pray and know that God won't put anything on us we can't bear. I also would like to think he is preparing me for something else.....and teaching me not to sweat the small stuff.

[gemmani]

In order for it to end, it would take efforts from BOTH SIDES. As long as BM has her vendetta, she'll continue to act a fool.

I think the better question is, how do we minimize BMD in our lives?

-Use email whenever you can (elminates screaming phone calls, maintain paper trail for court.)

-Try using a journal. It travels with the kids. Each parent can put whatever needs to be said into the journal, and the need for speaking diminishes.

-Try keeping things seperate. For NCPs, buy a set of clothing and toys for the kids to keep in your house. Send the kids back in the clothes they came in. Cuts down on those phone calls where it is a LIFE OR DEATH if little Timmy doesn't have his blue sweater.

-Try keeping a set schedule. Everyone knows what time and where, no more drama over getting or dropping off the kids.

-As for BM antics for trying to get to BD, don't respond. Say nothing. She calls, hang up. She texts, delete it. Without ammo, she'll eventually back down from harrassing (maybe.) Smile, and hold your head up. Always carry yourself with class. She can't get to you if you don't let her.

And..........yes, lots of prayer. And wine.