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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 1, 2008 12:08:36 GMT -5
Tellit you could be absolutely right...........you all do have 2 children together......and I didn't consider that. personally i dont think it matters whether or not you have a child with DH. the BM still has a role to play and that is to allow the man to be a father to her children without interruption or chaos. my DH and i have decided not to have any children together, but BM still wont be able to interfere with the life we have created together and for our children(his two and my one) |
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 1, 2008 14:49:28 GMT -5
Jaylady, ur bm is simply envious of you...And if me and my live-in bf didnt have a child together it would probably be alot easier for me to turn the other cheek towards bm's non-sense regarding his children... Simply because we've crossed that line and made one together (when I got preggers we werent that far into the relationship but I chose to keep and gave him the option to leave or stay.....he's been here for me ever since) so now I feel for the rest of his children and there's also the fact that my daughter has older sisters that she hasnt gotten to know yet...His daughters know of her because they've met her once and if it werent for their mothers being immature about the situation, they'd probably be able to grow onto their baby sister as her brother (my son) has that opportunity...I mean c'mon what little girl doesnt like playing with their baby sister? I dont trip on it though, it will happen eventually cuz my dh aint never had a woman like me...  |
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 1, 2008 15:50:46 GMT -5
you are right, sisters do need to bond, actually siblings in general need to bond. like you said though, it will happen in due time i just think its really a shame that some women cannot get over themselves for the sake of the children. they are related for goodness sake.  . |
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 1, 2008 17:28:41 GMT -5
i think that is the best way to do it. as the girlfriends and wives, we tend to know our boundaries(the ones on this board i am referring to). it seems as if the BMs are the one who are a bit clouded in judgement sometimes and i swear things just go better when i stay out of the chaos. DH use to feed into her nonsense, but he soon learned by my example that the best way is to ignore anything that has nothin to do with the kids, which in my case was 99.6% of the nonsense that was taking place  |
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Post by gemmani on Sept 2, 2008 7:27:11 GMT -5
The thing is, the BMs are still operating in "relationship mode". They act as though they get to continue their previous relationship-behavior no matter what. Then when you check them, they get mad because they feel like they have children with this person and they have a "bond". Then WE, the new females, get blamed because we've changed their routine.
Jaylady, that's what we do. Any communication that's un-related to the kids doesn't get a response. it's a lot of one-way banter.
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