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Post by youknowwhatitis on Aug 31, 2008 22:23:23 GMT -5
Should you date if you know you are in love with an ex. I realized about a year and half ago I am in love with my ex I had before I met BD? However, I am unable to shake these feelings? Should you involve yourself in a serious relationship knowing you are in love with someone else.
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Post by memyslfni on Aug 31, 2008 22:45:21 GMT -5
In all honesty it wouldnt be fair to the next person because your mind/thoughts would be on someone else...  Do you think this guy is thinking of you as you are of him? And most importantly does he know of your current situation...if so how does he feel? |
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Sept 1, 2008 0:36:17 GMT -5
I know he loves me.........but we both have our situations. I haven't seen him in awhile (years) as my son will be 2 soon. I did run into his sister she works at the hospital I was working at. It's a long complicated story. I don't think we would be able to get back together so I know I need to move on but I can't shake the feelings I have for him.........and I think of him daily. But I would have to get really serious with someone knowing that my deep feelings for him are still there.
I heard he has a daughter.........I dunno if they are still together. There was a lot of pain from our situation..........after it was all over and done he called me and told me he realized "I had his heart and he didn't even realize it." I thought it was just new game........and I was not going to keep going through it with him so I blew him off. Only to six months later realize........that I was in love with him and he had my heart and I didn't realize it. Sucks cause I can't get him outta my heart and mind and I really want to so I can fully commit to someone. Or should I say......I know I need to so I can fully commit to someone.
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 1, 2008 9:23:22 GMT -5
Wait a sec, Keia are u speaking of the guy whom u felt still had feelings for his bm???  (LOL) And if so how do you know he still has these feelings for you..Keia u just cant open one book until you close the other...Keia, Keia, Keia U really had feelings for this guy but u allowed for his situation to push u away didnt u? But obviously u didnt have the strength to deal with the particular situation at the time so thats why u let it go.....And thats understandable because alot of times we fear that our own feelings will get hurt in the long run, if we continue to hold on...  I am a firm believer that its best to let things go and if it was meant to be it will be...  No but seriously is that the guy u still have feelings for? |
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Sept 1, 2008 12:09:30 GMT -5
You all are right it is not a good idea to get serious......I think I need to become a player again and just enjoy dating. Why stick to one guy so seriously now. Definitely not trying to have any more kids. Why make anything more complex now. Now I am kinda talking to a few guys. Met one that I've been knowing since high school.............and he has the skills to pay the bills......I'm thinking I may kick it with him for a while. He doesn't have any kids doesn't mind that I do. I don't need anyone with BM drama right now.
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 1, 2008 12:12:12 GMT -5
my personal opinion from reading your posts is that you really just need some "me" time for yourself to work through some issues. when i had my son and broke up with BD for his infidelity, i spent the next 3 years getting to know myself and figuring out what i wanted with MY life.
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Sept 1, 2008 13:10:24 GMT -5
Oh yeah tellit, I didn't realize it until after I was involved with BD.
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 1, 2008 14:57:51 GMT -5
I know thats right youknow, like lil wayne said "Dont let him sit at the table if he aint bringin nuthin to it". Keep urself available while ur still young...and choose ur men wisely! ;D
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Sept 1, 2008 21:33:01 GMT -5
I had a revelation this evening.......I realized that self image and self-esteem is EVERYTHING. I have been focusing so hard on school and making sure my son is okay I forgot to focus on one very critical aspect of life. Spending time daily building my self image and self esteem. While I do not consider myself someone with low self esteem or a low self image that doesn't mean that it's in tip top shape either. I realized that the most critical aspect of my self that has been injured due to the situation with BD and some prior relationships have in fact chipped away at both my self esteem and self image. While they may not be piss poor they aren't as good as they can get. So I decided to take you all's advice and just focus on ME and building my self esteem and self image as having those two crucial areas in good shape will help me be able to chose and recognize a quality mate when I run across one. Also it will help me be able to wade through losers and recognize which one's regardless of how much money they have or how fine they are worthy of my time. I will be able to pick and discern the man who will complement my worth and add to it. I believe it is impossible to find a good man without a positive outlook and opinion of yourself. I think self respect is having a good self image and high self esteem and worth. So instead of pursuing a relationship with my old high school classmate..........I have decided to pursue a relationship with myself.
Thanks ladies
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 1, 2008 21:50:28 GMT -5
Thats wonderful!! You will love yourself more in the end because of it.  That was the best thing I could have ever done, was love myself and get to know myself. Now DO YOU and your son too ;D |
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Post by gemmani on Sept 2, 2008 7:17:46 GMT -5
Wow, you absolutely go girl! That's the best way to go, getting to know yourself first.
I'm not going to answer the question, it seems you have it figured out. This is how you develop a deep sense of confidence because you know YOU, and what YOU want from a relationship. Best of luck to you.
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Post by cloudy752001 on Sept 2, 2008 11:45:52 GMT -5
No never no! It's unfair to the other person. Don't waste their time.
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Post by retrostar on Sept 2, 2008 14:32:29 GMT -5
So I decided to take you all's advice and just focus on ME and building my self esteem and self image as having those two crucial areas in good shape will help me be able to chose and recognize a quality mate when I run across one. Also it will help me be able to wade through losers and recognize which one's regardless of how much money they have or how fine they are worthy of my time. My situation has made me question whether or not my mate "choice" is quality. Ugh, this really sucks. Good luck with your endeavors youknow - you deserve to have a life that you enjoy! |
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Do you think this guy is thinking of you as you are of him? And most importantly does he know of your current situation...if so how does he feel?
(LOL) And if so how do you know he still has these feelings for you..Keia u just cant open one book until you close the other...Keia, Keia, Keia U really had feelings for this guy but u allowed for his situation to push u away didnt u? But obviously u didnt have the strength to deal with the particular situation at the time so thats why u let it go.....And thats understandable because alot of times we fear that our own feelings will get hurt in the long run, if we continue to hold on... 
I am a firm believer that its best to let things go and if it was meant to be it will be... 
No but seriously is that the guy u still have feelings for?
That was the best thing I could have ever done, was love myself and get to know myself. Now DO YOU and your son too ;D