She is raising little banana cream pies

[ty1981]

Ok, I know we are all supposed to love our DH's kids....but let's be real...they are being raised by CBM's and that has a direct correlation to their behavior. Banana cream pie is rasing little banana cream pies. I do not like my fiancee's 17 yr old son...he acts just like his mom. His four yr old...I like...but I see the writing on the wall and she is going to be just like her mom. I only love his 10 yr old. Now, while I would never do anything inappropriate to or with them, I just don't want to be around them. Anyone else have this problem?

[jaylady999]

wow, thats deep gotta ask you how long you and fiance have been together? only asking becuz you mention you are not crazy about the 17 y/o, so i wonder how long you have been in her/his life. i notice some ways about my SD that are directly just like her mothers, but i think that the only reason this will not be a hinderance of the type of relationship I have with SD is becuz I've been in her life since she was 3y/o and we've bonded from when she was very little, she is now 10 y/o. thats gotta be a toughy, but i understand where you are coming from though

[ty1981]

been knowing the 17 yr old for two years. He is a rotten apple. Steals his moms car, hits her...thing is she provokes that behavior in him and acts the same.

[jaylady999]

((sigh)) i know exactly that you mean. my best friend's stepson ended up coming to live with her and her DH because his mama could no longer control him, after letting him get away with so much and he(the stepson) just basically had no respect for his mama for all the games he saw her play with his father. talk about reaping what she has sewn. so i know what you mean

[gemmani]

I remember feeling like I didn't want to be around fiance's kids after I was accused of abusing the oldest one. I wanted out, actually. I didn't want to feel like I was walking on eggshells, making sure that I wasn't doing anything considered 'abusive'. Fiance knew it was total BS, so he didn't even entertain their accusations. Still, I felt odd.
Also, I remember about a year ago, the oldest two believed any and everything that came out of BM's mouth. Fiance didn't go pick them up because he had to work? Gemmani's fault, she didn't want them around. (I don't pick them up if fiance's not there. Visitation is for him. I stay out of it.) BM would tell them to call me ugly, tell them that they shouldn't like me, etc. I REALLY dreaded the weekends at that time. I would mostly stay to myself, I felt like an outsider in my own home.
Now, things are totally different. The kids accept me and my place in their dad's life. They tell me they love me, and the only thing I dread is the loss of down time on my days off.
Now, my skids are way younger than yours, Ty. So I know that has a lot to do with it, younger kids are more adaptable and open to new people. I don't know how I would deal with it if they were older.
As for your 4 yo SD, don't give up with her yet. I felt that same way with the oldest skid at that age, she's 6 now. I thought she would be a mini-me of BM, but she's been surprising me.