The "NEW DADDY"

[ccorbett]

My boyfriends three year old son came to the house yesterday and told him that he has a "new daddy", he was crushed. No I can't seem to redeem his hope in being the daddy he wants to be? What do I do now?

[jaylady999]

awwww man, that is absolutely horrible here we go again with the triflin baby mamas allowing any man she involves herself in a relationship with to be the surrogate father to her children. i dont even think thats acceptable if the baby daddy is not in the childs life, but if he is in the childs life, its that much more worse.

not sure about the particulars of your situation but if he has been in his sons life, he needs to continue to do so. he may want to even talk to BM about allowing his 3y/o son to think he has a new daddy. thats ashame. but he really needs to address the situation for real

[ccorbett]

Trust me I try...I don't have any contact with her from prior acts of drama. I'm away on work related things and to know how crushed he is at home is horrible. I know his son does not address me as mommy i'm cc to him and its driving me insane that she would allow this, she left him and when it wasn't all she expected she came running back to find me. I wish I couls be home to comfort him

[gemmani]

I agree with Jaylady. I don't see the point of having your child call another man daddy. Its like these BMs try to erase BD and create a "nuclear" family with the new guy of the week.

Ccorbett, the child knows who his daddy is. he's basically just repeating what he's been told. I know it hurts your BF, but it doesn't change anything. He's still dad.
My 2 year old SD likes to play around and call me mommy. (my name is Imani, rhymes with mommy.) But she knows who I am, and she knows who her mom is. Of course, BM gets LIVID when she hears them say that. I think they are saying my name and she thinks they are saying mommy, but that's my opinion.
Not to mention, this new guy doesn't have the bond that your BF has with the child. New guy probably won't be around long enough to make a difference, anyway.

[bmdramaof2]

Sorry to hear that I agree with Jaylay and Gemi it's not right and he needs to address it and he should bring it to his BM would you like it if our son came to you and said cc is my new mommy? He knows who is daddy is and no one can take that from him and his son stay strong for your bf it will work out

[daddyinpdx]

Ccorbett,

This is no more than a game being played by the BM. Evidently you and your boyfriends relationship caused some sort of threat for his BM.

I really don;t know the particulars in your situation, i.e. age of child, BM, and how much time you and boyfriend spend with the son.

From my experience, my BM forced our children to call her "Capitain Save a Ho" daddy. She only did this because I was moving on with my life. I had a good woman in my corner that was focused, employed, and had a head on her shoulders.

I went from being a playa to being platonic. My BM was pissed. So she went and found a guy who could hold a security job and made him the daddy, cut my visits short, and start telling me "they daddy is gonna do such and such."


Issues like this are only countermoves that rebel against the change of the the BM relationship with BD.

The only way to come against the situation is to take her tail to court. Taking a BM to court in most cases will shut down the Carter!!!!!!!!!!

In court, a scorned woman can't out game a guardian ad litem or a licensed forensic evaulator. They see right through all of the BM drama. They will know if the Bd is handling his business vs. being chatised by his BM for not handling his business.

It likes put the BMD on trial so to speak.

[ccorbett]

Thanks everyone for the help....we have a court date set for custody.....lets see how it goes.

[youknowwhatitis]

Change, smage daddy. BM's should realize that ultimately they are in control of their situations. But if they allow SM's and BD's who are jealous of the fact that they are receiving CS and call the shots to get under their skin then they will be in trouble. Expect SM to hate on you..........just grow greater.......it's just an insurance policy for her that you won't be in her position because she doesn't want to lose to you. Expect BD to be upset about paying support........it as signal that he's lost. All he can do is go to court and whine for custody or try to prove you unfit which he will if you let him. Don't consider BD a friend especially if you two have had a bad past. Don't let that " we should be friends for the sake of the baby/babies" turn you into a sucka. Don't tell BD about your problems......just use him for what he's good for.....if it's just a check.........then it's just a check. Try counseling to unravel your emotions because BD or SM may try to take advantage of them even BD's family if their is a bad history there. Watch your back BM"s because we are under more attack now than ever before.

Matter of fact I"m writing a book...ya'll heard about it first... A Baby Mama's guide to Gettin it all.

Shout out to all the BAD BM's out there Lisa Raye, Karin Stanford, Misa Hylton, Kimora Simmons (ex-wife), Monica, Fantasia (thanks 4 the song girl), Tamika (Usher's BM turned wife), and all the other's out there.

[ty1981]

youknowwhat....so sad, so sad.....you talk about your child and other BM's children as if they are products....do you want your kid to think he is only good for a check. You think every BD and SM are angry because of CS.....get a clue nobody cares about the little money you get. If banana cream pie would stop acting like a lunatic her kids would get much more...the benefits of a two income household...but with the way she acts, she only gets the basics(CS). You are always telling SM's to get over their insecurities but BM's need to come off of theirs....youve had the kid youre bonded forever...get a life....move on...and guess what maybe someone would benefit...you know the child(not a check).

[jaylady999]

Ty you are so right. These BM's dont realize that the only ones they are really hurting are their children. Parenting is not all about child support checks and with their trifflin'ness. More times than not, but for BM's acting like they dont have sense, they could get above and beyond what would be required of them from a judge. But with all the uneccesary drama, most men dont even want to bother for having to go through the BM. who's losing out? THE CHILD. DUH~

[youknowwhatitis]

Support checks are a part of parenting they are needed and help out with the childs expenses. If that's all Bd is good for......like mine....then that's all he's good for. My son won't be suffering....travel RN"s in Texas where I'm moving to make 75,000 a year. Add a fine nice sexy doctor to that equation....trust me my child will be fine.

[jaylady999]

All the money in the world will not protect your child for the bitterness your harbour inside girl

[youknowwhatitis]

I'm not bitter.........I come to the point of acceptance. That's what he chose........the accident, not wanting to be a father to our son it's his choice. If his family want's to support his choice then so be it. Karma................will win in the end.

[memyslfni]

Ladies..We can only speak of what we know..and the only thing Keia knows about Co-parenting is receiving a check...Just listen to her...She may act like she dont need bd for more than what she is already getting but I know deep down inside, she knows eventually its going to come to the point where her son is going to want to know who his father is... And We (as mothers) cant run away from that. We can bring Tom, Di*k and Harry around our son, but they will never be his real father....I used to be upset when my bd would call and talk to me (in hopes that we'd get back together and be a fam), and not ask to speak to our son. I basically hurt for my son, because he didnt know the state of mind that his father was in. I felt like he didn't really care about him...or else he would've asked to speak to him..BD was selfish at the time..but as time passed he has matured in the way that he thinks...for our son.

[gemmani]

Once again, Youknow is so positive we hate CS!!!!!!!

We.......have........no.......problem........with.........CS. This post isn't even about CS. What the heck are you even saying?

SMs "hating" on BM again, huh? Whatever helps you get to sleep at night. I don't hate on the fact that CS is her only real source of income. I don't hate on the fact that she has to resort to living with family because she can't handle her business. I don't hate on the fact that now she's STUCK with 3 young kids, who she didn't really want but had them to keep a man and guess what? STILL DIDN'T GET THE RING.

I guess BM's need for control over a man that doesn't want her trumps the kids every time.