Post by Chalan on Oct 7, 2008 8:37:54 GMT -5
Jay~ I think your BD sounds like a responsible human being. I would give him “kudos” but in actuality, he is doing what he is SUPPOSE to do. Good for him! I wouldn’t worry to much about all the women he has around your son because he has an example of a thriving relationship due to you and your husband.
Doin~ I think your feelings are completely normal. When you engage in a committed relationship with another person, the rules change on how to interact with the opposite sex whether we like it or not. Things do not change due to jealousy or insecurities, but due to respect. To put things in perspective I ask my SO two questions. 1) Would they (BM/Friends) behave this way if they had a SO? 2) If the shoe were on the other foot, how would you feel if I did the same thing? Trust me, this BM would not want her husband house shopping with an ex nor would she probably tolerate the “ex” showing up on her doorstep unannounced.
My SO is friends with a lot of his exs as am I. I would never ask him to give up these relationships nor would I give up mine because true friends are hard to find. Sometimes people are better off friends. I don’t care if he meets these friends for a drink, dinner, or to party as long as they respect my relationship. In the end it is about trusting him not them. BUT when DISRESPECT is shown and is obvious, they have to go or in BM’s case, his relationship/ communication with her must change. Now before any one says, he can’t communicate with her? I don’t mean that. It means that conversations should be about the child not about BM’s money woes and life problems.
Doin~ I think your feelings are completely normal. When you engage in a committed relationship with another person, the rules change on how to interact with the opposite sex whether we like it or not. Things do not change due to jealousy or insecurities, but due to respect. To put things in perspective I ask my SO two questions. 1) Would they (BM/Friends) behave this way if they had a SO? 2) If the shoe were on the other foot, how would you feel if I did the same thing? Trust me, this BM would not want her husband house shopping with an ex nor would she probably tolerate the “ex” showing up on her doorstep unannounced.
My SO is friends with a lot of his exs as am I. I would never ask him to give up these relationships nor would I give up mine because true friends are hard to find. Sometimes people are better off friends. I don’t care if he meets these friends for a drink, dinner, or to party as long as they respect my relationship. In the end it is about trusting him not them. BUT when DISRESPECT is shown and is obvious, they have to go or in BM’s case, his relationship/ communication with her must change. Now before any one says, he can’t communicate with her? I don’t mean that. It means that conversations should be about the child not about BM’s money woes and life problems.
