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Post by im2grown4this on Sept 15, 2008 10:26:54 GMT -5
My fiance and I are getting married this Saturday 9/20. So, about 2 weeks ago I had this CRAZY idea that maybe if I just talked to CBM she would calm down a little. Her and I have never met face to face and she has never laid eyes on me. However, I have seen her when she was outside my house slashing tires and vandalizing property. So, I found her MySpace page and decided to create a page to contact her and see if we could at least talk to one another and try to get along for the sake of her daughter. This b*%ch is just crazy! She is so fixed on not letting her daughter around me or having anything to do with me that she doesn't realize how much she hurts her. She is so immature it make you wanna just slap her (or worse  ) I just can't get over the messages that she sends now. She contacted her lawyer and told her lawyer that I was harassing HER. I have sent her one message and replied to one message, that's it. She sends me sometimes 2 messages a day with her crazy nonsense. I just don't understand it. I want to get along so that we don't have to live with all the drama and animosity but she wants to keep it going. I'm a stupid B*#ch and keep her daughters name out my mouth and all kinds of crazyness. I just want to live in peace, just get along like two grown women. I try to talk to her like a women and let her know that it doesn't have to be this way and she comes at me like a little girl in H.S. I'm so frustrated with trying to keep the peace. If I was who I was ten years ago she wouldn't be getting away with all this. But I'm grown now, I have two children of my own and I don't want them to have to witness the drama either. I don't know what else to do I've made the effort  If you're curious and want to view the MySpace page it's MySpace.com/adrianne910 |
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 15, 2008 10:45:05 GMT -5
first off, congrats on your upcoming nuptials ;D
i can totally understand you wanting there to be peace. but if i havent learned but one thing from my BM, its that it wont happen until she is ready. until then, i would just let her be. seriously. some women love drama and although i know you contacting her out of wanting to be cool with her, its doing more harm than good. just let sleeping dogs lie is what i say. to this day i just dont understand how the mind of a BM works sometimes, but i guess its not for us to figure out. just roll with it.
how long have you been with your future husband? how old is the daughter by the way?
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Post by im2grown4this on Sept 15, 2008 11:09:28 GMT -5
We have been together going on 3years in January and it has been nothing but the best. I truly believe that he is my soul mate. We completely understand each other and we have the best communication possible. I love him with all my heart and I hurt when she hurts him, cause I feel so helpless. Their daughter is 6. She is a really beautiful girl and she is very smart. I have two of my own that are 5 and 3..............
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 15, 2008 11:11:38 GMT -5
Does she allow the daughter to come over on weekends, etc? Or no?
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Post by bmdramaof2 on Sept 15, 2008 11:47:06 GMT -5
Congrats!
I agree with Jaylady you have to weigh the storm out. I was in your position before and it's the worst. I married my soulmate and life is wonderful until the BM's come pregnant doging I feel the same way helpless but this is going to be a bumpy road and it would get easy until that lil girl is 18. When I was getting married my BM was throwing a huge fit the last few weeks and didn't know if she wanted her daughter apart of our day that we started fighting and I said what if your daughters all dressed up but her mom doesn't let her come. Are you going to stand me up at the alter to be with your daughter or what. I was really nervous but he told me to trust him and I told him I wanted to talk to BM he said I don't think that's best. So I didn't and I never said anything negative about her that she can hear. We got married and I'd say 4 months later she if I can drop there daughter off instead of him. She said I want to squash whatever is between us and more on I see that you will be in his life forever and I need to except it. I told her I never had anything against you I don't know anything about you just what my DH and your daughter told me about you. From then on we have been friends and she comes to me more then him except when she's pissed.
Just step back and weigh it out. It's all you can do she has to be the one to open up and you except her.
Good luck
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 15, 2008 12:10:03 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing your story ;D I remember when we were about to get married, we didnt even tell BM until the VERY LAST possible moment. And even then, DH didnt tell her when. She said that we better not let her find out when the date is or the kids WILL NOT be there. Ok chickypoo, thanks for the heads up. You very well will not know the date. He picked up the kids as normal and by the time she saw them again, me and he were as one ;D
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Post by hope4freedom on Sept 15, 2008 12:35:26 GMT -5
I checked out the myspace thing.....I suppose that is her that left the comment on your blog........
HMM
She's not even mature enough to get it. She's still out partying and living life. Bless you, it's got to be tough to be in your shoes. I'd ignore her as much as possible. She seems to like to make a spectacle of herself.
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 15, 2008 12:54:07 GMT -5
Um yeah, this chick seems very silly. I wouldnt even bother with her. It would be a waste of time  |
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Post by gemmani on Sept 15, 2008 13:04:32 GMT -5
I'm with you, Im2grown. My wedding day is the 19th, right before yours. Just let BM be. She's not going to want to deal with you because you are the one marrying her BD. It's not about YOU, but what you represent.
If it's drama she wants, she can do it by herself. Don't contact her again, if she contacts you, ignore it no matter how badly you want to respond. Don't let her rent space in your head on your big day.
We told the kids the wedding is next month. Of course they'll be surprised when they come on Friday, but that's okay. Just don't want BM to pull anything this weekend. I'm SO GALD it's almost over.
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 15, 2008 13:06:57 GMT -5
((imani)) you know you better some pictures back for us to see. did you ever see the video i posted of my wedding somewhere around this place??
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Post by gemmani on Sept 15, 2008 15:28:25 GMT -5
Not yet, this weekend was pure hell. Haven't really gotten a chance to be at a computer until I get to work, then I can't see it from my job computer.
Everything is in place except two things:
1. My wedding ring hasn't arrived yet. I'm kind of freaking out.
2. BM's acting strange and not returning calls............
Fiance (stb hubby!) and I are getting weird feelings about this. Something tells me the kids won't be there...........
(knocking on wood) Positive thoughts......
jaylady, are you on Facebook? I think I'll leave a link to my facebook page for pictures.
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 15, 2008 15:38:53 GMT -5
Yeah i have a page there that i havent done anything with unfortunately. I use myspace a lot. But when you get back, send me the link and I will check it out. Cant wait.
When is the last time yall have heard from BM?
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Post by gemmani on Sept 16, 2008 7:19:01 GMT -5
Unless I'm mistaken, you can't see profiles on Facebook if you set your profile that way. But I'm a newbie at the online social networks so correct me if i'm wrong.
We have our plans set!!! Future MIL called BM to ask for the kids, and the b*tch said YES!!!! Yay!! Now the $$ we spent on their dresses and suit and shoes won't be wasted (which was a fear of mine). BM will be MAD as all haites when she finds out why MIL really wanted them early. But that's okay, we can deal with that. All plans are mostly set, my mother is about to make me head-butt her, and my fiance is bouncing around as happy as a kid in a candy store, and the kids don't even know the wedding is this weekend.
As for me..........
Three days before my wedding, and I'm doubled over from cramps because that Red-Headed B*tch from the South decided to drop on by. Absolutely perfect.
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Post by ty1981 on Sept 16, 2008 17:11:56 GMT -5
It will be gone.....lol...my aunt flow always pops up for vacations...even if she comes early
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Post by im2grown4this on Sept 17, 2008 10:47:16 GMT -5
The wedding day has been moved up to Friday instead of Saturday! Yeah, we found out that we can't get married at the justice of the Peace on Sat. So, we will be getting married on Friday instead. We defiantly are not letting BM know when we are getting married but she does know that we are. She really lost her mind when she found that out.
The MySpace page was only set up to try to talk to BM, I do have another that I have all my pics on but she will NEVER see that one. She doesn't even know what I look like. But if you seen her pics then you have an idea of the kind of "young lady" she really is and what I have to deal with. Ever since she found out that their daughter was at my house on the 4th of July she has not let her spend the night since. She has gone as far as telling her lawyer that the little girl was harassed at my house so that she could get a restraining order to keep her from being around me. She's a real piece of work. We really don't have the money right now to get a lawyer but we will very soon and when we do we are taking her azz back to court, you can believe that!
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) I just can't get over the messages that she sends now. She contacted her lawyer and told her lawyer that I was harassing HER. I have sent her one message and replied to one message, that's it. She sends me sometimes 2 messages a day with her crazy nonsense. 
