What is her problem-he doesnt want you!

[omg2crazy]

She has two of his kids (he was never actually with her). They are in the middle of ours. He would run to her when i would kick him out, he has grown up and tries to be a father, she is bitter and CRAZY. Why do some girls not understand that its not about them? Why not just be a good mother and accept life for what it is. We are happy and their kids could have a father but unless he wants her too she forbids it. She doesnt want me around. I was here first and am not going anywhere. I had his kids first and thats that! We're married for goodness sake. She cant get to us so she will try anything, make false reports to DHS, try to raise child support every other day, make false police reports, BLOW our phone up every night from 12 am -5 am, has her 3 yr old calling us nasty names on voicemail, slicing my tires, I mean come on-Really? Is it that serious? HE DONT WANT YOU! Get a life, you're a grown women and a mother. I dont understand why some women behave like this-its embarassing for them. WHY WHY WHY?

[Chalan]

Omg~ I’m afraid to touch this one because there are so many dynamics. To have been in a yo-yo relationship for lack of a better term and still maintain a cordial behavior makes you one heck of a woman in my book. My guess is she feels as though she lost the game, hence the tactics. Good luck to you and your husband.

[gemmani]

I'm with you Chalan. I don't know how to respond to this post, because there's no way on God's Green Earth that I would've taken him back after having not one, but TWO kids with another woman outside the marriage.

My first question would be, are you sure it's over between them? If she was his "go-to chick" before, what's stopping it from happening again? It's your husband's fault that this situation is occuring, so it's your husband's job to set that woman straight.

Nope, that's it. I having nothing productive to say about this. This situation is crazy. Good luck.

[omg2crazy]

Yeah and I tell him ya know if you woudl have never gotten yourself in this situation or ran to her when we had issues then this wouldnt be the way it is. He says in return he knows he has done this damage and that at that point in his life he was not focused on what was #1, but more of hanging out, partying and so on. i have never been that style of a person, I am more of a home body or what have you and she LOVES to drink and stay up til 5 am hangin out. Either way, I guess I feel they both knew the situation, and he wants to just be a father, but she wont let the rest go. He has told her over & over-I love my wife, Its about the kids and thats all. She doesnt care. She wants it to be about her or nothing. I have let him go over this before but somehow we always end up back together. We have a strong bond beyond all this Jerry Springer drama-Believe me I know how crazy it seems too. It is crazy, I just try to over look it because i love him and I see how he tries. I just want her to grow up. guess I cant make that happen though. i can just be me. Thank you though for all your thoughts

[Chalan]

The heart wants what it wants. As long as you’re happy that’s all that matters. I guess the best thing would be to ignore her tactics…if you can and let BD address all problems that arise. Don’t let their problems become your own. I know..I know…easier said than done.

[omg2crazy]

It is very hard b/c the only thing she talks to him about is "his b*t*h" (ME). thats what all her messages say. oh shes your mom, tell mmmy this, tell mommy that, your B this, your B that. Im like give it up already! You know? WOW! I mean its not like I just came along, I was with him 4 yrs before he even met her. I dont know, I just want the drama to go away and I end up looking like the one with mental issues. I just dont get it, Is all this because she wants him? I mean she acts one way but says another-I dont want him, never did blah blah. Why would a 25 yr old women put her kids through the thigns she does and not see wahts important-their relationship with dad? Will she ever get the point? Or is she always going to be unstable like this?

[gemmani]

Okay, I can respect that. Let me say this: you are a bigger person than I could ever hope to be.
Okay, about BM, you can't make her grow up. You can't make her do ANYTHING. What you can do is control how YOU and your DH respond to her. When she's doing those psycho-stalker actions, she is looking for a response from your DH. She wants his attention, whether it be positive or negative. Attention for BM is like oxygen to fire, it makes her ire burn brighter. DON'T GIVE IT TO HER. Let her calls go to voicemail. Turn the ringer off on the phone at night. If she wants to come out her face and talk nasty about you, she can do it by herself. If you all have anything to say ot her, email it. Don't allow her to come near your house. Look into filing a restraining order against her, since she has a history of abuse and false allegations. Not only are you NOT giving her an audience, you will piss her off beyond belief since she's getting no attention.
Most of all, keep loving your DH and be happy. Try to compartmentalize her antics into one tiny section of your life. Don't let her antics bleed into the rest of your life. Just pathetic.

[jaylady999]

Most BMD situations occur when the parents have broken up and he has moved on with someone else, but in your case, he was with you first, I know its hard. Let me tip my hat to you becuz I am not sure if I would have been able to hang around through 2 babies. WOW.

But to the point, your job is to not let her stress you out. Let her be his problem, not yours. All that she says to him about you, COMPLETELY IGNORE IT. I know it sounds easier than it really is, but the good part about it is that once you begin to do it, it will begin to become a natural habit for you. She is trying to get to you and you are obliging her. It will probably get worse before it gets better, but dont go back and forth with her. Let him do it and you support him.

[brittany]

Thank you so much for trying to help through this. You are right. I think Im on the right track, I have changed my number and we do not answer his phone. I am just scared she will come slice my tires again as they are not cheap-and if i dont see her do it, the police cannot do anythign about it. She always seems to win that way. OH well ya know. We are looking to move to another house so then she will not know where to find us to damage our property. Thanks for the support though and not judging my jerry Springer Show-LOL.... It really helps.

[gemmani]

Can you hook up a video recorder? Maybe if you can keep it on a window sill and aim it toward you car (if it's parked nearby). Get some video footage of that idiot vandalizing your car. I'm embarassed for the BM.

[omg2crazy]

so she's still not done-Last night she calls and I wake up to a voicemail that says she has so much on us and that my sons plays in the street in his diaper and that I dig in the trash-LOL....WOW! Really? I almost feel like I am back in elementary-remind you we are in our mid 20's. NEVER ENDING! ALmost funny!

[gemmani]

Who cares what the female has on you. I mean, get real already!

It must be nice to have all that time on your hands. I sure don't have the time to sit around, making up stories to get at somebody. It's called a JOB, get some HOBBIES. You must be a very important person in your BM's life.

I swear, these chicks make my head hurt.

[omg2crazy]

yeah well the girl is a waitress and works at night so from the time she gets off at about 12am to about 5 am she calls talking crazy. then sleeps from about 5am to about 4 pm and repeats the same routine over & over. We're getting a no contact order today. wish me luck

[jaylady999]

this broad sounds nuts she really does need to get some bidness

[gemmani]

Right? Lololol.

What are they trying to accomplish? Okay, scratch that, we know what they are trying to do. But what's the point? Say BM is successful at breaking the two of you up. Then what? Is her BD going to come back to her? Probably NOT.