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Post by Kiwi on Apr 9, 2008 12:37:17 GMT -5
My son is under 2 years old. The dad's side of the family dislikes me I just think they are jealous because I have the upper hand with the child. I live MO and they like in IL. The ex relayed a message they don't call to check on my son because "he can't talk". So they dont' want to talk to me. They don't really know me they just know I don't take no nuts and I fight for my rights. They even told my BD he needs to get a DNA test after attending my baby shower and visiting me and him in hospital. When my son was around 14 months the test was done he was the father which he already knew. He signed the birth certificate at the hospital. They didn't get my son anything for his 1st birthday, Christmas, they were invited to his baby dedication didn't come. So am I wrong for deciding that well since they didn't take any interest in him when he was small and needed them. When he gets older and is able to talk they can't just barge in my kids life and decide they finally want to get to know him. I feel like if that's how they feel when he gets older 10 or older if he wants to get to know them he can but as for anything else those people can go to hell. Am I wrong or or they wrong?
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Post by wbmama on Apr 10, 2008 5:13:18 GMT -5
Girl...I hate to say this but you are wrong. You're making a decision based on emotion. I understand where you are coming from! No matter what these nasty people have done to you or have ignored your child - you can't keep them away later on. Your child will understand - he'll see the picture. He may not want anything to do with them. KARMA! It happened to my girlfriend, had 2 boys, got divorced when the boys were little. Dad was not in their lives very much. Now kids are 16 and 18 and don't have time for him. They don't like him. They know who their family is.
You cannot be the reason or the child will resent you. I know it hurts you. Other people's stupidness is something that you don't have any control over. Raise that baby - love him enough for 20 people.
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Post by lovejones08 on Apr 10, 2008 13:13:57 GMT -5
If the are making effort allow them if it is not harming to your child, but you should have to make it your responsibility to find out where they are so your child can see them. If they want to be involved let me tell you they will make all the effort in the world to be involved. Like TLIS said the child will develop his own opinion. You stay positive and never say bad things about his dad and family because the child may grow to resent you for that you keep a hateful spirit. Just leave the door open, but focus on continuing to be a good mother and not a BM.
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Post by downazzchick on Apr 10, 2008 22:31:27 GMT -5
Don't worry about his family.....Your child deserves the right to know who his father is and later if he decides that this relationship is not what he wants he(the child) will end it. Girl, you must understand that your child is not a "TOY". So whatever "upper hand" you have you are hurting your son with it! And so what if his family dislikes you as long as they don't mistreat your son.
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