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Post by jusdntundstn on Apr 13, 2008 14:41:52 GMT -5
ME AND MY BF HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS. BEFORE HIM IT WAS ME AND MY SON. AFTER HE CAME ALONG ITS BEEN US THREE AND OUR BABY GIRL. BUT BEFORE SHE CAME ALONG MY SON STARTED CALLING MY BF DAD. IS THIS WRONG? SHOULD I HAD TOLD MY SON OTHERWISE. I KNOW ITS TO LATE NOW BUT WANTED TO GET A SECOND OPINION FROM WOMEN OF A HIGHER CALIBER.  |
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Post by Keia1 on Apr 13, 2008 15:49:27 GMT -5
No, I don't think you are a fool. In all actuality he is his dad if that is the only dad he knows. I'd leave it alone. If it comes up when he's older than you can tell him. But I'd leave both children on the same page for as long as possible. Does he know his real dad? Is he in touch with their family members? I would need a little more info to really give you some good ideas.
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Post by jusdntundstn on Apr 13, 2008 16:12:08 GMT -5
Thats the thing, I allow for his father to get him and do the thing with his family on occasion.
He pays cs out of pocket (no courts). But my son is with me 90% of the time. When my son
was born his father was at the hospital but refused to put his name on birth certificate for his
own nutso reason ( i took it as he didnt think he was his child). But his family was always
good to me so I allowed him to remain in his sons life (besides the fact my son needs to know
who and how his father really is). I could tell him how his father was/ is all day, but i'd rather
him see it for himself. I look at it as my son has a father and a dad...but part of me feels guilty
because some people hold on to that "One mom / One dad".
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Post by downazzchick on Apr 13, 2008 18:25:18 GMT -5
How does your BF feel about the child calling him dad and does he treat him like a son or is he just there living in the same house. Also is your son old enough to know the difference?
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Post by jusdntundstn on Apr 13, 2008 20:06:54 GMT -5
BEING THAT MY SON IS HIS ONLY BOY, BF LOVES THE FACT THAT HE CALLS HIM DAD. BF
TREATS HIM LIKE HIS OWN AND YES MY SON KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE. HIS FATHER WAS
KINDA IGNORANT ABOUT THE ISSUE OF HIM CALLING BF DAD AND ACTUALLY POPPED HIM FOR CALLING HIM DAD IN HIS PRESENCE. HIS FATHER HAS THE 1 DAD 1 MOM MENTALITY.
NEEDLESS TO SAY MY SON DOESNT TALK ABOUT MY BF TO HIS FATHER ANYMORE. BUT
CONTINUES TO CALL HIM(BF) DAD PROUDLY. I FIGURE IF THEIR COMFORTABLE WITH IT, WHY
STRESS OVER IT. I JUST WANT TO PROTECT MY SON FROM HIS FATHERS IGNORANCE WITHOUT
HAVING TO BE THE CULPRIT.
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Post by downazzchick on Apr 13, 2008 20:21:52 GMT -5
Your son definately wised up after being punished by BD. I'm just glad he did not stop calling BF Daddy. In my case my child calls BD/GF by their first name and DH has always been Daddy. It is so funny because he will call me fussing about what I am teaching! I'm like whatever, if your mad do something about it. Of course he doesn't 5 months pass by before he calls to request a weekend visit. Deadbeat!
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Post by wbmama on Apr 14, 2008 4:54:47 GMT -5
I think your situation jusdntundstn is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! Being a dad/mom ain't got sh*t to do with blood! If I say something to my daughter like "your dad..." she says "which one?" That's a choice she made.
As long as you are honest with their child about who their bio parents are - and who the "step" parents are - they get to decide as far as I'm concerned. I never told my daughter to call her sd dad -and she doesn't - however she refers to him as dad.
Love is a wonderful thing!
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