Letting go........

[Race isnt the issue]

Keia please get your facts right, you are thinking with emotion rather than logic! You might want to pick up a more credible source of information rather than an "Ebony" magazine.

There are far more whites than there are blacks in the United States, speaking a difference in the billion mark so how in the world would there by more absent black fathers than white? Again you're thinking with emotion and accepting status quo from a not so credible source.

I am not a black person defending the race, I am a white person defending FACTS. Reading is fundamental.

[Keia1]

Just cause your white doesn't mean your right. You are not black and you don't leave a black person's life. Have you ever been to the hood? If you have then you know....that what you read in a book....doesn't always match up with reality....after all "Christopher Columbus discovered America..... or did he really."

[Race isnt the issue]

I guess that shows the level of where your education stopped! Everyone who reads should know the true history of this country, again, reading is fundamental!

I am not right because I am white, I am right because I READ, again, reading is fundamental. I claim the white race on all government records, but surely you MUST know there isn't one true bred race amongst us. We are all mixed of different races, and blacks are not the only people residing in the hood or ghetto! Please, please I encourage you to please read something other than your "Ebony or Jet" magazine.

[nomoredrama]

Keia, please get your facts straight...This is not a forum to discuss race, but African-American men were torn from their family because of slavery. Where did you get your facts? From your own feelings of hurt and anger...That does not make you an expert, it makes you HURT & ANGRY. Have you met all races? Do you know EVERYONE from EVERY RACE? You are making blanket comments about race that, for lack of a better word, illustrate your ignorance.

And, what does it say about YOU that you CHOSE to lie down with and bore the child of a man that you feel, "...have historically abandoned their offspring..." and "....is the weakest of all the races..." What does that say about your character? Does that mean that you will lie down with anyone who gives you attention, no matter what you feel that you KNOW about the person's race??

And, if you really feel that way, then you would not be SOO ANGRY that the BD walked away from you (not his child). You should have expected it...As I recall, you said your BD has a good job and told him that you do not have anything to offer HIM.

Keia, I have been tolerant of the BD's comment and I appreciate your feedback as a baby mama; however, you obviously don't know ANYTHING about the black race. Which is it? Being black or "half black" or other does not give you the right to make such blanket statements. You only help to perpetuate racism.

[Keia1]

Tell it unfortunately you are wrong....you are hurt by my statement and attempting to hurt me back....new guest brought up race not me. I am not angry at my BD for walking away from me....but from responsibility. This is a problem within the AA race. It was and still is not intended to be a putdown but just the truth. I am from the hood.....and most of the people I know did not have a father. My dad is rich my mom is working class which is why he helped her out a lot... I am simply conveying my experience. I have already apologized if offended anyone....guest just keeps going on and on with it. We have already agreed not to "assume" The ratio of intact black families to non intact black families is apalling. This is a board to express how I feel personally... if you do not agree that is fine....but that doesn't give you the right to attack ME because you disagree. The indians were here before Columbus....but who got the credit. You and every AA knows that the black family structure is in major need of an overhaul. I point that out to say that I would never side with my child knowing full well he is wrong....it's only stunts his growth and character development. As the Bible says, "the truth will set you free." The new face of the black family is the blended family and that is why we (of all races) are on this site. Once again....don't take it personally......

[nomoredrama]

I am not hurt by your comments...I am blown away by it. I don't understand how someone has the audacity to make such outrageous comments about anyone. Especially since your claim you are black, half black, whatever. You are hurting yourself and your son. You see, your son is BLACK...So, what do you expect of him???

[keia1]

Also tellitlikeitis, when I noticed the situation going that way I immediately thought another black child abandoned.....what I'm upset about it the fact that is continually happening and from a lot of cases that I see....the son's mom's are not stepping up to the plate...some of the more enlightened one's are but many are just like my BD's mom and sister. It is no secret that the black female has carried the black race. Guest is putting down black publications and accuses me of not having an education....again I'm not taking it personally just responding to her. I don't understand why the truth hurts so many people. For the record guest, I have been reading all my life and writing National council of english teachers honorable mention. Dean's List college student. Quit judging and start opening up your mind. You are not inside our culture.

[nomoredrama]

Keia, your decision to have a baby out of wedlock is one of the reasons that families are not "intact." It has nothing to do with race. It has to do with young women and men making bad decisions. The child is the result of the bad decision. It does not have to do with race. There are many single parents of all races. You are speaking based on your experience...You can't speak for everyone...

[New to this]

I didn't mean to start any confusion on any race/class/gender because one is not better than the next. We ALL are a blend of everything.

Your comments to demish the black race was offensive and appalling as well as stero-typical. The mis-quotes are just that and biased.

And again, PLEASE read because the Indians were not the first one here. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

[nomoredrama]

Keia, it's your perception of the truth....But, I am done now. There is no sense debating with you....

[Keia1]

I expect for him to be better than his father...I expect for him to have character, integrity, morals. I expect him to own up to responsibility and not run from it. I expect him to be man....not another black jail house statistic. I'll him the truth even if it hurts a little because I want him to know that just because he is black doesn't mean he is disadvantaged and can never have anything it just means that he has to work 2 times as hard to get it. That God will bless him if he stands by his family and has character and doesn't put money in front of just plain common sense. I refuse to be one of those mother's who is still protecting a grown man.....where was his mom when he decided to go out of town....while she was trying to convince him of how right he was. Karma is real....I want my son to be apart of a new generation of black men who beat the odds....not the odds beat them.

[Keia1]

Culture influence the way a person, thinks, acts and behaves. Just because our son was born out of wedlock does not mean that's the reason the situation turned out the way it did. It turned out the way it did because BD did not want to take responsibility for his actions. I have friends who are married and are single parents because BD doesn't want to take care of responsibility. Not saying it doesn't happen in other cultures but I only speak on the culture I am in.....I don't have a right to speak on behalf of cultures I don't know from the inside out....some things can't be learned in a book...it's called real life experience.