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Post by wbmama on Apr 22, 2008 19:27:22 GMT -5
So what exactally is your defination of Baby Mama Drama?
TO ME -BMD is a PROBLEM that you and your spouse have to learn to deal with.
A BM can't have drama on her own - can she? She can cause problems but if you and your DH ignore her - then you have NO drama - RIGHT?
Maybe it should be called Baby Mama Problems...because when a BM raises he** in your life, be it with your hubby or you - ITS A PROBLEM!
The drama is created when you/dh react and SOMETIMES you have to react if you want any contact at all with your child.
ITS UNAVOIDABLE!
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Post by wbmama on Apr 22, 2008 19:35:22 GMT -5
Another thing I want to mention...staying out of it goes out the window when you've dealt with someone messing around your house, your kids, your accounts.
I would love a specific answer from some of you "stay out of it - ers" - when a WOMAN gets in your cell phone account and messes it up? How do you stay out of it?
When a WOMAN goes to your house when you're not home and peeks in your windows? How do you stay out of it?
When a WOMAN harasses the hell out of you and your DH by endless mean and pregnant dogy phone calls and emails - how do you stay out of it?
To me, stay out of it equals I can't put myself in your shoes.
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Post by wbmama on Apr 22, 2008 19:39:27 GMT -5
I'm going to bed to watch CNN! Carry on and I'll pick up in the early am.
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Post by jusdntundstn on Apr 22, 2008 20:01:51 GMT -5
wbmama what you have is a Stalker, when this happens its time to A. carry protection or B. Get the heck out of dodge. (Move away and stay away)
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Post by nomoredrama on Apr 22, 2008 20:40:01 GMT -5
What she has is a CBM. Sometimes, it gets that bad. Like I said, BM attacked me before we married. We have both grown up a bit now, so hopefully there will be no more physical altercations. But, my point is that people get caught up...Adrenaline starts to rise...It is not as simple as saying "stay out of it." It is not always easy to do that.
In my case, BM called me & started talking mess. I told her not to call me anymore & hung up the phone. I went on about my business. Next thing I know, I was walking to my car & I say someone running at me from out of the woods. It was BM...She assaulted me.
Sometimes, the drama just hits you in the face.
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Post by Keia1 on Apr 22, 2008 21:51:51 GMT -5
That's when you get a gun and an order of protection and let lil miss attacker know next time she attacks she's going to get her as* clapped. And you will have a solid self dense claim. But using that as an excuse to stay involved only shows that she has YOU were she wants you...trust the BM on this one. It takes real strength not to get sucked into the drama these women bring. It's good you both have grown and as a young woman I have learned the painful hard way that some women will do absolutely ANYTHING to get a man. I am definitely not discounting the type of trouble she has caused but don't "chase that skinny rabbit." She's miserable and wants to make you miserable too....and DH if she can. Success I have learned is the best revenge.....everytime she attacks just keep making you and Dh relationship better and better. Keep making yourself better and better. Do like I did with BD's family....make your haters your motivators and use their venom....to fuel YOUR dreams and accomplishments. Remember that we are all only human...question are any of your BM's from the south?
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Post by nomoredrama on Apr 23, 2008 2:47:27 GMT -5
Our drama is not on that level anymore. Drama is reduced to her alienation of SD from DH. Her feeling that she has a "right" to be in our household business and in financial affairs as I said before. BM & I are both saved now. I think that has helped to "reduce" the extent of the drama. But, BM still plays childish games after all of these years.
I am really a conflict avoider. I will do more venting to DH, family, friends before I confront-but it depends on the level of BM's games though. Like I said, I don't have a quick temper, but if the right buttons are pushed, I will snap on you.
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Post by wbmama on Apr 23, 2008 4:36:51 GMT -5
See my point of you sometime have no other choice but to get involved. I didn't start any sh*t with her. I tried the kill em w/ kindness. It didn't work. I stayed back - she came in more. We have been dealing with this nut case for the sake of the child for 2 years (my DH 3 years before I came along)!!! Every other weekend some sort of crap would stir. Now, she's at the point, we're not seeing the child and still calling making threats....etc. Her latest is that she's going to have me thrown in jail.
The last contact I had with her was when I called to invite ss to a birthday party - last time I saw ss was when he was in the hospital (which made her mad as hell). She raised hell with my DH because I was going to visit my ss in the hospital. Its ridiciouls.
There is only so much one human can take. And the fact that this nut case has a baby by my DH doesn't give her the right to make our lives hell.
I miss my SS - my DH misses him badly. We have fought the hard fight for this child. And we're taking a break.
We live in a different town from her. And I do fear for my safety. Don't have enough yet for a restraining order - working on that. My DH just had to change his cell number - she's still has our home number (its in the court order). She called raising hell to me on Friday - been quiet for what 5 days now.
What other options are there?
Keep in mind....this BM is over 40.
And Kiea yep from the south.
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Post by Keia1 on Apr 23, 2008 12:23:52 GMT -5
I ain't trying to be funny but southern women are extremely aggressive and a force to be reckoned with when it comes to men. You have to be really patient and longsuffering when dealing with BM drama from southern women. I have lived in the south, midwest...and there is a difference based on where the woman is from.
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Post by wbmama on Apr 23, 2008 16:02:51 GMT -5
Well Keia, to be quite frank, I am a 100% Southern Woman too. Your observation may be right to a degree. However, there is more than one type of southern woman - those of us with class and dignity and kindness. We are the women who can cut you off at the knees and it takes you 10 minutes to realize what had just happened - cause it was as sweet as suga'....lolololololo
Girl - crazy comes in all cultures, colors, ages, shapes and sizes!!!!
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Post by lovejones08 on Apr 24, 2008 0:47:49 GMT -5
Yes, keia there is a difference. I've seen that difference as well. My definiation of BMD- Broad making unnecessary hell to make herself feel better and a poor baby happens to be involved.
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Post by Keia1 on Apr 24, 2008 14:22:41 GMT -5
I've lived and visited all over.....West coast women are slick and smooth, midwestern women have game and class...I must admit...I learned some stuff from the southern women I hung around with....I am very keen....I think they learned from me too......I think southern women taught me how to treat a man.....none of it that I did with BD....to this day I don't even know why I with him....I think he was just convienient. Northern women taught me how to talk to a man and how to wrap him around your finger and not be too giving....cause they will use it against you. What's weird is mix a southern woman with a northern woman and you get a woman from St. Louis, MO.
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