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Post by harleyquinn88 on Sept 2, 2010 23:48:23 GMT -5
Hey everyone! Im new here and I just wanted to give a quick run down of my situation and hopefully get some advice from you guys. So Im 22, and I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years now. Hes 29, yeah I know, big gap there. Anyways he has a 3 year old daughter with another woman, and this bm is insane. I cant even tell u how many times i have had to bit my tongue with this bm. She has stalked my facebook, threatened to kill me, and started rumors about him cheating with her, and other things (even tho she admitted to lying about it later). I cant stand the girl, we wont even look at eachother when we are forced to see one another. The drama has cooled down with her because she has a bf now (thank god) but she still calls my bf just to ask stupid questions, like at 11pm on my birthday (she knew it was my birthday) "hey is my daughter there?" uh, hello, its 11, shes 3, shes asleep. she does stuff like that all the time. I also looked through his phone before and saw that they were talking about things other than the baby. my bf and i had a huge fight when we were on vacation because he always does her favors, who volunteers to watch the kid so the bm can go and have her boobs done?! its crazy to me. recently, we had a pregnancy scare, and i asked my bf how he would feel if i really was pregnant, and he responded, "i dont know how I would react". i was shocked. after all of his "i wanna marry u, i wanna have babies with you" speeches. thats his answer? do u think that i should move one because he has a baby with that awful woman, but is so negative about the thought of having one with me? thoughts and advice please! Thanks
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 3, 2010 15:42:01 GMT -5
Hmmm, ur 22 with no kids?? Can't u find someone who doesn't have kids along with the added drama filled BM?? I'm just sayin..  I guaranteed you'd be 91.9% less stressed without having to deal with a man with 'other' kids. But if you are anxious to be with a man that does, at least make sure he's got HIS responsibilities sorted out with the BM with regards to the who, what, whens of the child so you know he's not just letting her run his life which will in turn affect yours. |
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Post by harleyquinn88 on Sept 3, 2010 17:32:25 GMT -5
Yeah, Im 22 with no kids. I honestly love my boyfriend very much and nothing would make me happier than to marry him and have children with him. Thats why I cant leave. What are your thoughts on his response to my possible pregnancy? to me it feels like, he had a baby with someone else, and he says he loves me but reacts that why, so maybe he should be with his bm? what do you think?
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Post by splucks on Sept 4, 2010 14:41:42 GMT -5
Oh babe at age 22 you shouldn't even entertain the thought of being pregnant, there's so much more that life has to offer than being a mother so young. Look around you, how are all these bm's fairing, usually quite terrible. Most are no longer w/their bd & they are "stuck" raising these poor children alone. Give yourself a chance in life, don't end up broke, kids, welfare, living in section 8 housing. Life is full of choices & decisions, so be wise. Just read some of these other drama filled post on here, is that what you want? Love at age 22 has a lack of experience, 5 yrs from now you might be in love with someone else while looking back asking yourself what did you ever see in this bd & all his bm drama.
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Post by triciatenaka on Sept 12, 2010 17:32:54 GMT -5
Hey everyone! Im new here and I just wanted to give a quick run down of my situation and hopefully get some advice from you guys. So Im 22, and I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years now. Hes 29, yeah I know, big gap there. Anyways he has a 3 year old daughter with another woman, and this bm is insane. I cant even tell u how many times i have had to bit my tongue with this bm. She has stalked my facebook, threatened to kill me, and started rumors about him cheating with her, and other things (even tho she admitted to lying about it later). I cant stand the girl, we wont even look at eachother when we are forced to see one another. The drama has cooled down with her because she has a bf now (thank god) but she still calls my bf just to ask stupid questions, like at 11pm on my birthday (she knew it was my birthday) "hey is my daughter there?" uh, hello, its 11, shes 3, shes asleep. she does stuff like that all the time. I also looked through his phone before and saw that they were talking about things other than the baby. my bf and i had a huge fight when we were on vacation because he always does her favors, who volunteers to watch the kid so the bm can go and have her boobs done?! its crazy to me. recently, we had a pregnancy scare, and i asked my bf how he would feel if i really was pregnant, and he responded, "i dont know how I would react". i was shocked. after all of his "i wanna marry u, i wanna have babies with you" speeches. thats his answer? do u think that i should move one because he has a baby with that awful woman, but is so negative about the thought of having one with me? thoughts and advice please! Thanks Hi There Why do you think you need to bite your tongue around his BM? You don't need to cater to her presence, to the child per haps but not her. You are a single, young repectable woman unlike herself, who's an unwed mother. She is in charge of her child and her child only. DOn't give her power over you, you have the upper hand, he's in love with YOU. You have to set boundaries, let him know that they're only allowed to speak about things regarding the child. There's been plenty of times I've interupted conversations w/move it along gestures when I hear them straying from the child. I don't have my man "in check" but he respects me and knows I don't tolerate ANY BS. Let him know know that you're not comfortable with the way she call and tell him to HANDLE IT RIGHT THEN WHILE YOU LISTEN. He will do it if he loves and respect you. The EXTRAS was an issue with me for a while until I had the talk with him. It goes back to love & respect. Anything you are not happy with your man should handle (if it's reasonable). Now if you're just starting mess with her than this advice don't apply. Also, don't open yourself up to have babies with someone you are not marreid to. You will then be a BM. Protect yourself and do not have this man's baby until after the wedding or signing of a marriage certificate. You don't want to end up like her. |
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Post by triciatenaka on Sept 12, 2010 18:04:23 GMT -5
Hmmm, ur 22 with no kids?? Can't u find someone who doesn't have kids along with the added drama filled BM?? I'm just sayin.. I guaranteed you'd be 91.9% less stressed without having to deal with a man with 'other' kids. But if you are anxious to be with a man that does, at least make sure he's got HIS responsibilities sorted out with the BM with regards to the who, what, whens of the child so you know he's not just letting her run his life which will in turn affect yours. Ummm excuse me? You sound very ignorant. People can date who they please. WHO are you to ask them why can't they date someone w/o kids like themselves? Are you having a hard time getting dates because men don't have respect for BMs like you so you're only chance at getting dates is to discourage chidless women from dating men w/kids? Sounds like a desperate move to me, I wouldn't listen to this advice. |
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 12, 2010 18:55:07 GMT -5
Troll ~ Opionions are like azzholes, everybody has one  |
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 12, 2010 19:14:43 GMT -5
Hey everyone! Im new here and I just wanted to give a quick run down of my situation and hopefully get some advice from you guys. So Im 22, and I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years now. Hes 29, yeah I know, big gap there. Anyways he has a 3 year old daughter with another woman, and this bm is insane. I cant even tell u how many times i have had to bit my tongue with this bm. She has stalked my facebook, threatened to kill me, and started rumors about him cheating with her, and other things (even tho she admitted to lying about it later). I cant stand the girl, we wont even look at eachother when we are forced to see one another. The drama has cooled down with her because she has a bf now (thank god) but she still calls my bf just to ask stupid questions, like at 11pm on my birthday (she knew it was my birthday) "hey is my daughter there?" uh, hello, its 11, shes 3, shes asleep. she does stuff like that all the time. I also looked through his phone before and saw that they were talking about things other than the baby. my bf and i had a huge fight when we were on vacation because he always does her favors, who volunteers to watch the kid so the bm can go and have her boobs done?! its crazy to me. recently, we had a pregnancy scare, and i asked my bf how he would feel if i really was pregnant, and he responded, "i dont know how I would react". i was shocked. after all of his "i wanna marry u, i wanna have babies with you" speeches. thats his answer? do u think that i should move one because he has a baby with that awful woman, but is so negative about the thought of having one with me? thoughts and advice please! Thanks Hi There Why do you think you need to bite your tongue around his BM? You don't need to cater to her presence, to the child per haps but not her. You are a single, young repectable woman unlike herself, who's an unwed mother. She is in charge of her child and her child only. DOn't give her power over you, you have the upper hand, he's in love with YOU. You have to set boundaries, let him know that they're only allowed to speak about things regarding the child. There's been plenty of times I've interupted conversations w/move it along gestures when I hear them straying from the child. I don't have my man "in check" but he respects me and knows I don't tolerate ANY BS. Let him know know that you're not comfortable with the way she call and tell him to HANDLE IT RIGHT THEN WHILE YOU LISTEN. He will do it if he loves and respect you. The EXTRAS was an issue with me for a while until I had the talk with him. It goes back to love & respect. Anything you are not happy with your man should handle (if it's reasonable). Now if you're just starting mess with her than this advice don't apply. Also, don't open yourself up to have babies with someone you are not marreid to. You will then be a BM. Protect yourself and do not have this man's baby until after the wedding or signing of a marriage certificate. You don't want to end up like her. Tricaneka ~ This last paragraph is IGNORANT! Getting married does not prevent you from being a BM/Childs mother. If that's the case, Tiger Woods still has a WIFE!!! NOT. She's his BM/MOTHER OF HIS CHILD now!!! LOL You don't get nuts from being married but a child unless your husband is Daddyworbuck$$$$ GTFOH! |
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Post by triciatenaka on Sept 13, 2010 6:57:31 GMT -5
Troll ~ Opionions are like azzholes, everybody has one SIGH Because my opinion differs from yours, I am a troll? Do we have the feature to post pics of oursleves? I am far from a troll. I guess if I was a BM looking for advice on my BD, I wouldn't be considered a troll? Help me out here. |
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Post by triciatenaka on Sept 13, 2010 7:09:32 GMT -5
Tricaneka ~ This last paragraph is IGNORANT!
Getting married does not prevent you from being a BM/Childs mother. If that's the case, Tiger Woods still has a WIFE!!! NOT. She's his BM/MOTHER OF HIS CHILD now!!! LOL
You don't get nuts from being married but a child unless your husband is Daddyworbuck$$$$ GTFOH!
What is a baby mama? An unmarried woman who becomes pregnant from f**king. Not a woman who was married and became pregnant and got a divorce or was widowed. That would make you a single mother. From my understanding, this forum is called baby mama drama. All I'm telling this poster is to get a stronger commitment from this man before having unprotected sex all willy nilly or she will become a baby mama, plain and simple. I guess as a baby mama you consider your status the same as a single mother? You shouldn't, that title holds too much respect for someone who just laid down and spread eagle vs. someone who perhaps waited and signed a marriage agreement AND GOT A REAL COMMITMENT FROM THE MAN WHO MAY INPREGNATE THEM. Sorry.
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 13, 2010 9:41:41 GMT -5
Troll ~ Opionions are like azzholes, everybody has one SIGH Because my opinion differs from yours, I am a troll? Do we have the feature to post pics of oursleves? I am far from a troll. I guess if I was a BM looking for advice on my BD, I wouldn't be considered a troll? Help me out here. You obviously have access to the internet, look it up TROLL! Then come holla at me ....  FYI ~ No one gives a rats azz what you look like. This ain't no gay bar...bwahhhhhh!!!! Also, if you take a look around...this site isn't just for BMs but ppl looking for insite on how to deal with TROLLS LIKE YOURSELF! BTW ~ If your gonna preach about having a commitment, then preach about that. Don't go around talking like marriage is the solution to all relationship problems. Marriage is just a piece of paper if there isn't a REAL commitment. LOL!! |
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Post by triciatenaka on Sept 13, 2010 10:02:02 GMT -5
Well I'll be a troll then. People tend to get defensive when something hits home. Instead of throwing insults why not add to the discussion? Maybe you are the troll, repsonding to everything I post like some cyber stalker when it wasn't even directed to you. Once again, MY OPINION IS DIFFERENT FROM YOURs SO YOU PROCEED TO CALL ME NAMES? Immaturity is typical behavior of a baby mama, lol. And bwahaha yourself sweetheart, all of this just proves my point. There is still a stigma against unwed mothers, face it, I'm not a troll, a lot of other people still feel this way. I'm sorry a lot of people who aren't baby mamas still feel this way. Thanks Hun.
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 13, 2010 10:06:48 GMT -5
Well I'll be a troll then. People tend to get defensive when something hits home. Instead of throwing insults why not add to the discussion? Maybe you are the troll, repsonding to everything I post like some cyber stalker when it wasn't even directed to you. Once again, MY OPINION IS DIFFERENT FROM YOURs SO YOU PROCEED TO CALL ME NAMES? Immaturity is typical behavior of a baby mama, lol. And bwahaha yourself sweetheart, all of this just proves my point. There is still a stigma against unwed mothers, face it, I'm not a troll, a lot of other people still feel this way. I'm sorry a lot of people who aren't baby mamas still feel this way. Thanks Hun. No my dear, ur the one who took offense to the suggestion I made to the poster who had no children of her own but chose to date a man who does. This is obviously your story as well ;D Carry on....  |
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Post by triciatenaka on Sept 13, 2010 10:15:37 GMT -5
BMs are good at harrassing people.
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Post by jusdntundstn on Sept 13, 2010 10:20:34 GMT -5
BMs are good at harrassing people. Oh now I'm harassing you. If I recall, YOU started in on me and MY opinions? So don't play the sheep now. Anywho, Let's hear some more about YOU. I love to hear BM/GF stories. Besides I dont start work for another three hours... ;D |
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