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Post by needsomegoodavice on May 1, 2008 10:27:07 GMT -5
i am skiming website for few days, i live in Maryland. my baby mama wont let me see my 2 kids, we where togethr for 4 years. didnt get along after my first kid born. i stay for my kids but aftr 4 years of fight i left. i pay for my kids. she is mad becuase i boroke up with her but fights not good for kids, i have child support order and i not behind on payment. she wont let me see them, new number and moved. what are my rights. i live in md.
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Post by Alex Brown on May 1, 2008 14:10:13 GMT -5
you can go to court and get appointed visitation rights. I have had to do that on three separate occasions. My children's mother and step-father seem to think if I fall behind on my child support then I am not allowed visitation by them. However, the courts tend to favor females because they have never found her in contempt, they just verbally scold her and increase my visitation. It costs me financially to keep taking her to court, and it takes a while to get my case against her heard. On the other hand she can get me in child support court expeditiously and free of charge with a state appointed attorney to represent her. I wish we men could get the same support in child visitation court. The guys who set the law have no idea of the trauma the mothers put their own children through. Many times they are used as pawns to punish the father.
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Post by destini1969 on May 1, 2008 14:16:01 GMT -5
Hate to hear you guys going through this. Unfortunately, your battle is just beginning as Alex Brown mentioned. Some (only some) BM think you owe thing because they bore your child. You are doing right by your children to leave, staying with her longer only makes the problem worse. And besides it's not healthy for your children to be a part of the constant bickering of you two. Once the child support agreement is signed you both have to abided by it, but like I stated earlier your battles are just beginning because she is making this more about her than the welfare of your children.
My DH (darling honey) and I have decided to step away at time because of the drama she continues to cause even with a court order.
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Post by lovejones08 on May 1, 2008 16:56:40 GMT -5
I agree with you all men that want to do right by their children always gets the hell. Remeber that you don't owe BM anything. The only person that you have ties with and owe something to is your child BM is merely the unfortunate link to the child due to her being the mother. This is something that you will have to come to turns with, but just keep your heads up. i commend both of you for being good fathers because I know you probably don't hear that often SO I'M PROUD OF YOU!!! Be happy and love you kids. The short moments that you do get to spend with them make it the best times ever and remind them of how much you love them. This is what they will remember and they will resent their mothers for trying to keep them away from your love. Never give up and keep fighting for you rights as a father because you do have rights. Suggestion consider reading BABY MAMA DRAMA keeping it out of you life and marriage by Alliesha Gallion..great read and she has a whole section on how the court system works and the father's right. Check it out. YAHHH FOR THE GREAT DADS!!!
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Post by lovejones08 on May 1, 2008 16:59:15 GMT -5
oK GUYS NO MORE SIGNING UP FOR THE NOOKIE CLUB!!! For join the BMD club before joining the nookie club it will save you a lot of heartache next go round. NO MORE TRYING TO GET THE PIECE OF CHEESE IN THE MOUSE TRAP. Just get the cheese that is free with no potential stipulations. SMILE GUYS don't be discouraged!!
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Post by awsomalx on May 2, 2008 0:23:31 GMT -5
It costs me financially to keep taking her to court, and it takes a while to get my case against her heard. On the other hand she can get me in child support court expeditiously and free of charge with a state appointed attorney to represent her. I wish we men could get the same support in child visitation court. The guys who set the law have no idea of the trauma the mothers put their own children through. Many times they are used as pawns to punish the father. Welcome to My World! I mirror everything] quoted above. Makes you really wonder where the name Family Court came from  It's all about the WOMAN in that place. |
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Post by wbmama on May 2, 2008 4:45:44 GMT -5
I am woman hear me roar!
"YOU ARE RIGHT AWSOM"
I see it thru my dh - we could raise SS so much better than DH - She's nuts (certified) and there is not court that would ever give him custody (now if she were a crack ho or a abuser MAYBE) But her being mentally abusive don't mean sh*t. I guess they think its ok for a MOM to poision their child against his daddy but its not ok if she's doing crack. I really don't know what's worse!
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Post by nomoredrama on May 2, 2008 6:34:05 GMT -5
Needsome, you can go file for visitation yourself, without a lawyer. I don't know if Maryland charges a fee to file for custody but I know some states do. You may also be required to attend a "Parenting together but apart" but I don't know. Your best bet is to call the family court in your area and ask questions. Good luck because you will need it....Luck & a Whole lot of prayer.
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Post by destini1969 on May 2, 2008 14:50:06 GMT -5
Dang that is ROUGH! I commend you all for trying to be there for your (step)children. Unfortunately it would take an act of congress in order for the BM to do right by the child. IT's about revenge for leaving them and moving on with your lives. Don't get back together for the sake of the child that will make it worse on everyone, especially the CHILD. To br raised in a loveless household!
You will just have to document (video/letters/e-mail) your attempts at contacting the child. You will have to find it someplace deep within the ability to let go, not forever, just temporarily for your own peace and sanity. This will drive you to poor health conditions (constant stress) of trying to get the IGNORANT BM to do right!
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Post by nGOODMAN on May 2, 2008 19:05:33 GMT -5
I am dealing with the same sh*t! My BM told me that if we can't be a family then I can't see the baby. She has been doing this for the past 3 years. Everytime I see her I've got to pretend I like her and want to hit it just so I can see the baby. I really don't like her she is just that disguting to me. She let herself go and got the nerve to try to make me sleep with her. Where is the justice in that, if I were to tell the courts that they would think I am weak!
I just want to see my child.
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Post by wbmama on May 3, 2008 5:16:21 GMT -5
Telling the courts won't make you look weak. You can get a order for specific visitation. The problem will then be (like we're having) if she chooses to follow it or not. The courts will be on your side as far as visitation goes - you do have rights. See an attorney or a legal aide office.
If you keep "hitting it" aren't you afraid you'll get her preg again? Be careful.
REMEMBER: Your child support will double (and so will her craziness).
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Post by destini1969 on May 3, 2008 15:21:46 GMT -5
When it comes to your child it doesn't matter if you appear weak or not, the courts will see it differently. Actually, the courts won't care if you're weak or not!
You should definitely stop the physical relationship with her unless you want another child with her.
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Post by nomoredrama on May 3, 2008 15:27:16 GMT -5
NGoodman, wbmama & destini make a good point. You need to stop any physical relationship TOTALLY. For one, it continues to give BM false hopes that you may be back together. Her drama will continue when she finds that you are dating someone else because (in her mind) you & she are in a relationship. Another reason is that she may have another child & double your trouble. You know how the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
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Post by angelnmo on May 10, 2008 1:09:30 GMT -5
Sorry for joining in so late, but I think ngood man meant that he has to pretend that he finds her attractive and appeal to her vanity in order for her to let him see his child. My fiance has to do the same thing. He made the mistake of being cordial to her and telling her that she looked nice so she wouldn't throw a fit and keep him away from his child for another month. Next thing we know, she's answering the door half naked and trying to seduce him!! Being nice and pretending to find the BM attractive may work short term, but hurt much more in the long run. She will only hold on to her delusions of a relationship and when you begin dating someon else she will be mad and claim that you "led her on" and just used her. Which will cause her to keep you from your child even longer!! It's a vicious circle!
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Post by ngoodman on May 10, 2008 15:49:07 GMT -5
Aight aight you got a pointl. I am still hitting it with my BM. If I stop laying di*k to her my life would be a living hell. My BM know what this is, she know (I told her) I am hitting it to keep the peace. She gets that. I am just trying to get my girl to understand what this is! I ain't gon front, I'm a man. I ain't trying to wife my BM, maybe my girl, but not my BM.
Angelnmo, not to bust your bubble but your man is still hitting it. He is lying if he is stating otherwise. He is in the same boat that I am in but at least I am trying to be open about mines.
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