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Post by angelnmo on May 10, 2008 0:50:45 GMT -5
Hey ngoodman, alot of ladies may not agree with me, but you are right. Your girlfriend of 6 months is still too early in the relationship to be getting in the middle of the BMD. She can express her distaste, but she knew what the situation was before she got into it, right? If she doesn't like it, and you are unwilling to change, she has the luxury to walk away while it's still early.
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Post by msregretful on May 10, 2008 8:02:43 GMT -5
1 . Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)? I have been dating a man with serious BMD!
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together? It will be 2 years on June 3, 2008
3. How many children are involved in the drama? 2 wonderdul little girls - Age 2 and 8
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join? Place to vent or discuss issues that going thru with BM. As the GF of the man with upsetting BMD, I am here because I am looking for a place to vent but most importantly, I am at this forum to gain understanding.
5. What do you most want help or advice with? I would like to see what other people went through and are going through currently, so that I will be able to make a sound decision regarding my current relationship. Do I stay? Do I go? How do you cope with the situation. What do I do?
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Post by ngoodman on May 10, 2008 15:43:11 GMT -5
Thanks angelnmo at least somebody half understanding what I going through and who told her to try to befriend my BM.
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Post by memyslfni on May 10, 2008 16:52:12 GMT -5
NGoodman its nice u being open and honest with us on this board, but does your gf know u been creepin with bm. Maybe she's just tryin to figure out what all the funny business is all about....AHuh...Since men find it hard to keep they thingy in they pants, gf's got to do some investigation. Some go with the womanly instinct and drop ya a$$.
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Post by destini1969 on May 10, 2008 18:22:43 GMT -5
That's exactly what your GF is doing! She is obtaining as much information as possible from BM and will probably end the relationship. On another post you mentioned wanting to marry your GF, but it doesn't sound like you're ready!
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Post by lovejones08 on May 13, 2008 1:08:20 GMT -5
good reply awsom.....also ngoodman I'm really not sure how to read you forreal, but it appears as though you are frustrated in many ways and i hate to burst your (well actually i don't hate it) philosophy bubble, but men are emotional as hell too honey you just tend to show it by shutting down or being angry as hell and my dear your post has disguised emotion written all over them. You wouldn't frequent this site if you weren't seeking a solution/break to your sh*t because the sh*t isn't easy and if you give a d**n about the well being of your child it makes everything feel 10 times worse.
I don't know your situation ngood because you have not really stated what's up, but instead of being so d**n defensive try talking bout your situation and you may gain what you are seeking. Men need guidance too honey and if it weren't for woman and their emotions you would never have a place you can call your SAFE HAVEN!!! And maybe you have not reached a point in a relationship to understand what I'm talking about but you will if you get it right.
Maybe the woman you're with now isn't a woman that can deal with this situation, so either the woman is really not doing it for you or you're just so stressed with your situation that you don't know how to resolve it. We are not the enemies here because whether men or women we have or are experiencing your same issues although every now and then we do get folks talking side ways.
C'mon mama is listening........
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Post by cloudy752001 on May 13, 2008 16:09:28 GMT -5
Well, well, well, Ngood: I, for one, do believe in the "staying out of it" philosophy; not in the manner that you're saying it though. It IS your GF's concern if her emotions are being abused by your BMD situation. She can and should express to you every time you are going back and forth with the BM, if she feels that it is taking a toll on your relationship with her. LOVE is a powerful thing especially if it's new and that's probably why she won't just walk away. Don't make her suffer. If you are in a relationship that is meaningful with her, then you wouldn't make her have to think that she has to intervene in your drama. Are you making it clear to your GF that the only issue is your child? And nevermind the BM and her foolishness. If you are doing that then your GF (of only 6 mos.  ) should be on cloud nine  . |
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Post by nomoredrama on May 13, 2008 17:25:50 GMT -5
I think ngoodman's problem is that he is doing more than just dealing with the BM. He is still sleeping with the BM, to keep the "peace." Old girl (girlfriend) may be suspicious of that and so she is pumping BM for information (going out to lunch, befriending her). It looks like ngoodman may end up losing the girlfriend & BM.
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Post by junieb2 on May 13, 2008 19:51:40 GMT -5
 Quite frankly I am VERY OFFENDED by ngood... comments on the GF and calling women bi***es. It shows a lack of respect for women in general and it shows me he is not the kind of person I would want to be around. No wonder the GF is having second thoughts. If that is his level of morals maybe the GF should get out while she can. Dealing with 2 BMs is quite a handful and dealing with him doesn't sound like peaches either
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Post by ybother on May 14, 2008 12:25:13 GMT -5
1. Dating a man with BMD
2. Together 1 year 4 months
3. 1 Child (son 6yr old)
4. Advice, joined because it's easier to speak to people who are
having the same drama and can relate to your feelings.
5. I hope to gain some understanding. Basically to be able to hear
people's different views on how to handle the BMD. This is all
new to me and there are times I'm about ready to choke this
women, but I come here and vent and it's wonderful to get
some mature and logical advice. God knows this site has saved
me from making a fool of myself plenty of times and has made
me smile thru the tears, You guys are funny !!
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Post by Apathy on May 14, 2008 14:08:57 GMT -5
1 . Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)?
I'm a BM with BD drama!
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together? Married to daddy of 3 of my 5 babies
3. How many children are involved in the drama? Mainly the 9 month old, though I don't pretend this isn't effecting the other kids.
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join? Place to vent or discuss issues
5. What do you most want help or advice with? Srsly? I'm sure I'm viewed as another CBM and I want to break that pattern since I *do* have issues but I'm mostly reasonable and want to foster a good relationship between my child and her bio-dad.
I do not want to run off with BD, I just want to be able to have a good co-parenting relationship with him. He seems to be following the advice of many here and ignoring me, so it seems all contact will be through the court. And if you ask me, once the basic "rules" are set forth by the court afa support and visitation, communication between the two parents is even more important.
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Post by ybother on May 14, 2008 15:45:12 GMT -5
Sweet , I like that one..bm's are like cancer. I notice that though tellit. They'd rather ignore the bm than face them. And alot of the bm's and bd's are so used to the arguing that it becomes routine and they dont see anything wrong with it. Bd's try to argue bm into changing her immature ways but its useless, a waist of breath and time. I agree on this one, my DH gives in to her so much, she controls everything, It has to be on her terms or else. He can't even bring me around his family because she won't allow it. I can't close to his 3 other children from a previous marriage there not her children either, cause she won't allow it. Is just sickening the sh*t she does and he just sits there and takes it. I personally don't get involved I just silently sit back and watch the drama unfold. It really is useless and a waste of time, that's why I don't feed into it. I let him handle it.. one day he will get tired of it and put his foot down, until then I'm just here to support him and let him see not every women is the same... |
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Post by downazzchick on May 15, 2008 22:02:11 GMT -5
1. Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)? I'm married to a man with BMD and I am a BM from another relationship.
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together? Hubby and I have been together 16 years.
3. How many children are involved in the drama? He has his (1) with BM, I have (1) with my BD, and DH and I have one child together.
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join? I needed a place to vent and to try to gain some understanding of the situation I'm in.
5. What do you most want help or advice with?
Coping with BM daily tactics. THIS SHI*T NEVER ENDS!
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Post by shortydo on May 30, 2008 12:00:46 GMT -5
We have a lot of new members and some old members. Let's get to know each other. Please answer the following questions:
1. Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)?
MARRIED TO A MAN WITH BMD
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together?
4 YEARS
3. How many children are involved in the drama?
2 TWO DIFFERENT BMS
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join?
TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHY CRAZY BM'S DO THE THINGS THEY DO
5. What do you most want help or advice with?
HOW TO SEPERATE MYSELF FROM ALL THE NONSENSE THAT'S GOES ON IN OUR DAY TO DAY. I FEEL AT TIMES THAT BM IS STARTING TO WIN THE BATTLE. HER BS IS DRIVING ME TO WANT TO PUT HANDS ON HER BEHIND AND KNOCK SOME COMMON SENSE INTO HER ASS
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Post by tienee on May 31, 2008 13:44:46 GMT -5
1. Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)? Married to man with BMD
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together?5 years
3. How many children are involved in the drama?1
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join? Insight on how to deal with his attitude towards the bmd
5. What do you most want help or advice with?How to keep the peace and live as drama free as possible
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) should be on cloud nine 
. 
Quite frankly I am VERY OFFENDED by ngood... comments on the GF and calling women bi***es. It shows a lack of respect for women in general and it shows me he is not the kind of person I would want to be around. No wonder the GF is having second thoughts.