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Post by tienee on May 31, 2008 14:03:11 GMT -5
Ngood, Do you send your gf mixed messages far as her role in trying to deal with the issues of your BM. Do you ask for her opinion, do you vent to her, do you throw temper tantrums after you and BM have a conversation and she pisses you off? If you do any of these you are responsible for her being concerned about you and Bm relationship. And if that is the case then you need to take a step back and figure out how to deal with the situation with out involvng your GF. If you are having sex with your BM to try to keep some peace or because you just aren't satisfied with one woman then you will never be happy and your BM will always have control over your life in one way or another
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Post by gemmani on Jun 2, 2008 11:12:44 GMT -5
1. I'm a female who is engaged to a man with BMD.
2. We have been together for about two years, getting married 9/08
3. There are 3 children involved. 6 year old girl, 4 year old boy, 2 year girl.
4. I joined this group because I wanted to speak to others with the same kind of situation I am in. I want to know what else to expect regarding BMD.
5. How to stop her attempts at manipulation re: money and getting BD back. My fiance likes to read this forum too, it gives him insight into the whole BMD (he was really naive about it before I came along!)
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Post by gemmani on Jun 2, 2008 11:27:41 GMT -5
As far as ngoodman, I don't contact BM. I leave that to my fiance. But best believe I'm part of all the behind-the-scenes discussions. He is the one to tell her OUR stance on an issue. Those kids come and live in my house, eat our food and require use of our money. I love those kids dearly, so its not about "they are using up all our sh*t" or anything like that. But because these decisions affect our household and our money, I will have a part in making those decisions. We go back and forth debating the pros and cons, but at the end of the day, we both agree and neither of us has had to "lose out". He's just the one to tell BM. Of course, she says I tell him what to do. Couldn't be farther from the truth, but what she thinks is not my problem. I do agree with some of the others, 6 months isn't a long time for ngood's gf to jump all in the business (except for the cheating part). Until you have a commitment and you know that you will be around permanently (AND you've given the relationship enough time), you should avoid trying to jump in the middle and change things up.
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Post by sbimiss on Jun 2, 2008 20:53:54 GMT -5
Hello to all! I am new to the forum so, please bare with me as I familiarize myself with the site. =)
1. I have been with my bf for on and off 8yrs.
2. There are 2 different children involved. 2 different BMs.
3. I luckily only have drama from the second BM and joined this site after realizing that many others experience BMD in the same way. Amazing how BMs lash out in similar ways! I am hoping to gain insight from others and their experiences. I think that is the many ways we learn things and that is learning from our experiences as well as the experiences of others.
My BMD comes in many different forms. She used to make annoying calls to my bf's cell and just listen. Like a stalker! When my bf confronted her, she explained that her daughter wanted to speak with him. First of all, the child was 3 at the time and was not going to call his phone over and over for about and 1hr. straight and not say a thing. She then started to lash out at me and this is where I have seen the most struggle. It has caused much stress on my relationship. Although we are still going strong, I still wonder if she really was capable of lying to me about what really happened between my bf and her. There are many things that have shown she was straight up lying but I still wonder because this was a time that him and I were "off". Just a little background.....my bf had a few careless sexual encounters with her. It resulted in pregnancy. He wanted abortion and gave her money....she took the money & never got it done. When the child was born, she sent her to live with the BM's mother(child's grandmother). To this day she still lives with the grandmother. I did have occasional contact with him so this was confirmed. She later took any chance she got to express to me that he got her the house that him & I used to live in and that he got her the car that he drives me around in. How cruel?? He insists that she is lying and that if it was like that she would have lived there and would have had the car. She never had either (house or car). It of course drove me insane because I thought maybe it was meant to happen like she said but just didn't because things didn't work out when child was born. Plus, at the time he was doing quite alot of traveling and was out of town very often. She used his absence to mislead his family and friends that they had this soap opera love story going on. They would even allow her into the house when he wasn't there because they were staying there when he was out of town for months at a time. So, it's not like others can confirm he is telling the truth. In fact, it made me feel like he was lying!What the heck is that about?? I did however, see for myself that his family is very unattached from his personal life and I have seen pictures of birthdays ect. The man would not even touch her in the pictures(just him and his daughter). No smiles either. He always said she railroaded him. Why would he lie and why would she do this if nothing was going on between them from the beginning other than the few occasions that lead to pregnancy? I have complete trust & faith in my man except for this minor issue. Most will call me crazy because women like this stoop to much lower levels than just lying.Let me remind you that this has been going on for about 2 yrs. now. We now rarely have contact with her because my bf made it clear that he will only speak with her mother since she is the primary care taker of his daughter. He also said that he had always been this way it was only when I stepped back in she wanted to put her two cents in the mix.
Sorry it's soooo long. I had a lot to vent! What's you take??
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Post by nomoredrama on Jun 3, 2008 18:10:25 GMT -5
My take is that most BMs are typical. Welcome to the club. They should really rename this website, "women in love with me with BM drama."  |
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Post by shortydo on Jun 4, 2008 12:32:50 GMT -5
it's crazy to me that we're all in a similar situations. why is so hard for a BM to get over the fact that the BD has moved on with his life. for all you BM with tons of drama, do you put the same amount of time and energry into the child needs your fighting so hard for or is the child really not the factor in your crazy world of madness. is it more of a control game? please would a BM form hell let me know what's up.
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Post by memyslfni on Jun 4, 2008 18:16:54 GMT -5
SHORTY, THE ONLY CONCLUSION I CAN COME UP WITH AS FAR AS THAT GOES...IS SOME WOMEN/MEN TAKE A LIL LONGER TO MATURE THAN THE REST OF US.. AND ITS UNFORTUNATE FOR THE OTHER PARENT/CHILDREN THAT HAVE TO MISS OUT ON EACH OTHERS PRESENCE BECAUSE OF ONE PERSONS SELFISHNESS. ITS ALL ABOUT CONTROL AND IF A PERSON CAN USE IT WISESLY, THEY'D HAVE BETTER CHANCES OF COMING OUT ON TOP AND BEING LOVED AND APPRECIATED BY MOST. AGAIN THIS DOESNT MEAN A THING TO THOSE THAT LIVE FOR THE MOMENT..  |
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Post by wowposter on Sept 8, 2008 9:13:09 GMT -5
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Post by wowposter on Sept 11, 2008 3:17:53 GMT -5
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Post by hope4freedom on Sept 11, 2008 12:26:12 GMT -5
1. Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)?
Engaged to BD
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together?
2 years in December but have known him for over 10
3. How many children are involved in the drama?
2 that are his , 1 boy 11, one girl 8, she has one other from a previous marriage and is now prego with #4 - 3rd BD. My Fiance' never married her.
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join?
Some insight. Just saw my ex's BM in Wal-Mart last night and we were all like old friends. Why does this current BM have to be such a CRAZY!!!!!!!
5. What do you most want help or advice with?
How to deal with her.....although I am learning that the only thing you can do is fight for rights to the children and not respond to her. I have gotten VERY QUIET an allowed him to handle it. Which he handles by way of not speaking. Seems like she will do ANYTHING to get his attention. Also, to strengthen my bond with the man that I adore...and love very much. And, to learn to let go of all the anger. She's not worth it.
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Post by bmdramaof2 on Sept 11, 2008 13:37:51 GMT -5
1. Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)? MARRIED
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together? 7 YEARS
3. How many children are involved in the drama? 2 AND 2 BM BOTH SOMETIMES OVER THE TOP IN DIFFERENT WAYS 1 IS ABOUT THE MONEY THE OTHER ABOUT THE TIME.
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join? TO VENT AND KNOW THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD THAT ARE IN SITUATIONS LIKE I DO AND JUST WANT TO SCREAM TO THE TOP OF THERE LUNGS
5. What do you most want help or advice with? JUST TO UNDERSTAND MAYBE GET A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW.
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 11, 2008 13:59:19 GMT -5
1. Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)?
I am one man's BM(of 11 years) and another man's wife(of 2 years)
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together?
7 years
3. How many children are involved in the drama?
his daughter(10 y/o) and his son(8 y/o)
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join?
I am both looking to gain more insight to the book that I am writing, however, BMD is only one chapter of the book. I like to consider myself to have gained mileage with my BM as far as the games they play, etc and I am willing to share my experiences with those who are traveling the road i've traveled. BMD is a lifelong(or at least til the child(ren) in question turn 18, so I am not out of the woods, she is a glutten for temporary relapses, so I need insight sometimes as well.
5. What do you most want help or advice with?
really just seeking understanding to the whole BMD thing overall
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Post by doinwatigottado on Sept 29, 2008 0:20:22 GMT -5
1. Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)? Married to man with baby mama drama
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together? 18 years.
3. How many children are involved in the drama?
My husband and I have 3 kids. He has 1 with BM.
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join? I am hoping to learn how maybe to deal with some of the issues that come up regularly.
5. What do you most want help or advice with? With BMD control issues.
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Post by Chalan on Sept 30, 2008 10:16:38 GMT -5
1. Are you a man with Baby Mama Drama (BMD), married, engaged, or dating a man with BMD, or are you a baby mama (single mother)? Dating a man w/ BMD and a BM
2. If married, engaged, or dating man with BMD, how long have you been together? 3.5 years
3. How many children are involved in the drama? 1
4. What are you hoping to gain from this discussion forum? Why did you join? Patience, honesty, and just to vent
5. What do you most want help or advice with?
Reminders to IGNORE the tactics.
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Sept 30, 2008 13:20:12 GMT -5
Woman who is a BM with BD drama and BD family drama
There is 1 child involved a 2 year old boy
I hope to gain clarity and creative and insightful ways to diffuse the drama and deal with the situation. I joined to get support and vent my anger with the situation.
I want most help on how to deal with the drama.
I am not married to BD and I don't ever want to be matter of fact I can't stand his azz. Or his family.
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