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Post by gemmani on May 27, 2008 12:58:25 GMT -5
Here goes...... My fiance and I have been to together for almost 2 years, we are getting married this September. He has 3 kids, girl-6, boy-4, girl-2. They kids are sweet, there are no problems there. However, the mother is.............how should I say this.....LAZY. For some reason she believes that she has a golden uterus and that he should support her for the rest of her life. They just got back from court a while ago. He was paying her over 400 a week for support, court ordered. The LOVELY courts just increased his support to OVER $600!!! WTF??? Not to mention, the reason she needed the money is for daycare, which was already factored into the original amount. She gave them fake receipts for the daycare she "enrolled" them in. And now he's left with barely $100 a month! He's a great dad, loves to be with them, uses his visitation regularly. I just don't understand! How is he supposed to support himself? How is he supposed to support them when they come over? He was also ordered to put them on his insurance. How?  She only has a h.s. diploma, and refuses to find a job that pays more than $9 an hour so she can keep getting his support. THEN has the nerve to try to ask for more money!! I'm just so tired, she's really making it hard for him (and us). I don't really have a question or anything, just venting. It just seems like she's trying to take him for everything he has....and she's succeeding.  |
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Post by shortydo on May 27, 2008 13:49:45 GMT -5
it really is a sad situation. my husband was just blessed with a decrease. thank God also thanks to me staying on his back. I don't think men understand they do have rights but it takes a lot of time and energy to make it happen. it's a shame how some of these BM only look at the child as being dollar signs or as pawns in their evil game of "it's all about me"... but i know for sure i'll be d**n.
i love my husband unconditionally. we're in this together. it's us against the world
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Post by memyslfni on May 27, 2008 14:19:55 GMT -5
I think their main goal is to keep the bd broke, so he has no other option but to "come back home". This is the infamous BM mentality!
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Post by ifeelya on May 27, 2008 14:21:14 GMT -5
It not about him it's about the kids the court system looks at it that way. Is there anyway he can pick up a second job. Men need to realize that when they have a child with a woman or ini his multiple kids and he is not longer the court's usually side with the woman and he will have to pay even at his own expense. Someone needs to teach these high school boys about this.
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Post by shortydo on May 27, 2008 15:33:27 GMT -5
i know that's right. start them off young. start teaching them in elementary school the true value of being a parent before they start having children
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Post by gemmani on May 27, 2008 15:51:28 GMT -5
Also, why is it that the courts feel that the NCP is the one who must foot the bill of child-rearing? I BELIEVE it took TWO people to make the child, so why is only ONE parent being penalized?
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Post by tienee on May 27, 2008 16:06:18 GMT -5
That is ridiculous what state are you living in that would allow the system to take almost everything and leave him with nothing?
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Post by shortydo on May 27, 2008 16:07:58 GMT -5
that is a great question. i know in MN they have books avail that clearly state that the mother has all the rights and it's up to her whether she wants the father to be involved well before the child is conceived. So that kind of confuses me b/c it's like the court system already label the father to be no good and tells the female oh we'll take care of you by any means neccesary. in my case my husband been back and forth with the court system and they even attemped to come after my pay. i had a recent conversation with my hubby ex and she mention to me that she so happen to hook up with his other BM and they dicuss how the sytem should put him under the jail. lol what's so funny is this woman will go above and beyond to destroy him but in the same breath say how her child deserves the right to have a good father. well what good would he be in jail..... some BM are very selfish when it comes to their needs. they get the game totally twisted. i call it the blame game so the children suffer smart....
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Post by memyslfni on May 27, 2008 16:21:30 GMT -5
Once again I must point out the BM Mentality..Theyd rather have the kids see daddy locked up than with another woman...  |
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Post by gemmani on May 27, 2008 17:05:33 GMT -5
We live in New York City. Gotta love the Big Apple (stupid pr*cks)
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Post by nomoredrama on May 27, 2008 19:43:52 GMT -5
Did your DH have a lawyer? I can't imagine any state that will take so much of the BDs check that it will leave him with $100 per month. That is crazy. Either your DH needs to get a lawyer or you two need to hit the books and become familiar with your state's child support laws.
I have familiarized myself with my state's child support statutes. The last time my DH went back for a review, I had done my homework. I claimed everything that he could possibly claim (health insurance, doctor's bills, mortgage, car payments, dental insurance, our children's day care, you name it). When he went back to court, the child support was going to be decreased instead of increased. My DH did not want to hurt his child, so he told the judge to leave the child support amount as it was. BM wasn't at court because child support had lawyers there on behalf of the BM. CS' lawyers were foiled again. I bet child support was pissed! LOL.
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Post by youknowwhatitis on May 28, 2008 11:20:22 GMT -5
Im sure cs wasn't pissed they are just representing the mother and the kids. Should the kids get less so the dad can have more. Men need to stop making babies with women they don't want to commit to. That's what the court system is saying. I have a son when he is old enough to understand I will tell him use a condom. Kids cost and it won't be about you. Good decision making is key to everything. The men made bad decisions and now they are having to pay for it. No is sympathetic to their cause they are GROWN. But people are sympathetic to the kids cause. It's about the kids people. Stop making it about the mother. It's about the kids. If she wan'ts or needs more Cs so what she is entitled to pursue it if she ends up with less oh well that's on her. She has a RIGHT to pursue it. He has a RIGHT to present his case on why he can't afford to pay more. In the end the JUDGE will decide. Men are adults not babies. Stop being upset because the mother of the kids is getting what belongs to her kids. People grow up.
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Post by shortydo on May 28, 2008 11:45:52 GMT -5
ok Youknowwhatit is..i hear what your saying because it does go both ways. my problem with the BM and BD is why wait to file CS after the fact (the BM/BD is gone) why not make that choice when the child is born. The true problem is lack of communication between both parties ok. yeah when your in that relationship, who thinks about oh will he stay or will he leave since we all live in this perfect world. lol We're all adults in this situation-nothing is promise to us. I beleive both parent should be held responsible to pay for their child(ren). The court system is a gimmick. my ex husband fille CS against me in 2007. i was order to pay $714. per month for two children. now i don't want to complain about it b/c i know my children need but what angers me is that they will still call me and stay they need this and that. ok where is the money at? or should i say why is he not providing for them. i know for a fact it's taken out of paycheck. All im saying is we have to learn to communicate with other and stop being so close minded to any given situation. Also i would like to add that we all need to stop the BLAME GAME and start looking at our own flaws. |
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Post by JunieB on May 28, 2008 11:47:15 GMT -5
 Keia1 are you on this board just to insult people. You REALLY should get a life. You are one of those BMs that we are all talking about...just a PAIN IN THE A$$. GET A LIFE!!!!
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Post by gemmani on May 28, 2008 12:28:29 GMT -5
Excuse me youknowwhatitis, I'm so sure you took the time to get to know YOUR BD soooooo well that him and his family want nothing to do with you. When the MOTHER makes it so the FATHER can't pay his bills, therefore getting a second or third job, THEREFORE not allowing him to enjoy quality with his kids, who ends up hurting??? When the mother takes the father back to court because she "needs help" with childcare, gets awarded a crazy amount of money, only to find out that THE STUPID C*NT NEVER TOOK THEM TO CHILDCARE, SHE KEPT THEM. THAT isn't the MOTHER? ? Is it??? Why don't you get YOUR life together mami. Its always the ones in glass houses that throw the biggest rocks. GROW UP |
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She only has a h.s. diploma, and refuses to find a job that pays more than $9 an hour so she can keep getting his support. THEN has the nerve to try to ask for more money!! I'm just so tired, she's really making it hard for him (and us). I don't really have a question or anything, just venting. It just seems like she's trying to take him for everything he has....and she's succeeding. 
