Crazzziiiinnneeeessss

[canice]

all i am trying to do is the rightthing for the child involved. So she will know her brothers. But more importantly know her father. We don't care what the child support cost. But I will not be played for a fool by some chick is out to play everyone dirty even her own child

[youknowwhatitis]

Honey, my sh*t is air tight. Come December it will be all gravy.......I'll be a RN and I already have my own home, car etc, fine as hell with 1 cutie pie son. I did the right thing concerning my situation. BD did not so hell yeah Canice..........I'm all about my money ain't nothing else to be about concerning them. So if I'm sick then cough cough.....LOL

[canice]

I took care of that little girl for a year and a half when she was a baby. Till the mom decided that I was the cause of her not being able to play her game of "I NEED MONEY". This is a childs life you are talking about, and I am too cute to be going to jail for fraud in child support.

[canice]

i am leis aving all of this up to GOD and the courts. I am covering us with lawyers, because I know texas state familt codes and laws. So she knows she is screwed because the statue of limitations has passed. So she pulling a strings to try to get money anywhere she can. but I am basically covered.

[ty1981]

Youknowwhat...college isn't doing you a bit of good. Why don't you try being the classy sister I know you can be. This BM is trifling...you know it and everyone else does too.

[youknowwhatitis]

Some women I tell you are just something else. TD Jakes was on Benny Hinn today talking about marriage. He said "when you marry you're choosing the person whose hand you'll be holding when they lower your parents body into the ground, you're choosing the person to weather the storm with you when life turns on you, you're choosing the person to make decisions regarding you if you're ever incapable of doing so." He said the problem is a lot of people are doing the bait and switch......it's one thing while they are dating (the representative) and then they switch to who they really are after the ring is on their finger. To me this situation is a bait and switch.........she was fine with his practice and arragngement before they married..........now she wants to question and change his arrangement he was fine with this woman. Now the child has been taken away from them behind. This TD Jakes said is the number one reason for divorce....people wanting to change things because or changing after they get married. Or using the marriage as a way to gain control over the spouses affairs usually done out of jealousy and insecurity. Also Td Jakes said there is a difference between a concubine and a constituent...............a concubine is there for you if you never change a thing they're for you...........a constituent which a lot of these triflin scheming wives (don't act like it ain't none) a constituent is there for the destination. Not for transportation so if it looks like another ship is going to get to the destination faster than they'll jump off that ship and get on the other. Now this applies to husbands to because their are some triflin husbands.

TD Jakes marriage checklist:

-Look at their family, thoroughly investigate them (didn't do enough of this with BD but hey I was 21)
-Test them
-What do they have to offer, how are their decision making skills (BD failed this that's why I didn't want him...the accident is proof)
-Do they have a lot of excess baggage (BM's/BD's more than 1 is just ghetto.
-Credit check

He was very good...........opened my eyes up to a lot. I think I'll wait on the marriage thing a good little while because when I do get married anyone with more than 1 BM or even probably a BM period will not be marrying me. I don't do BM drama.

[youknowwhatitis]

Canice I actually think the law will be on her side.......she can easily argue that she wasn't sure who the father was and her husband was a likely candidate. Even with the affair it'll more than likely not end up being considered fraud. Worse case scenario he get's out of paying, your hubby ends up on the birth certificate and paying and he gets 2 weekends a month....but not if she's deployed or lives in another state. Texas is a mother state so I'm pretty sure she will end up okay. If what she is really after is money she'll just get it from your man. And if her husband has really bonded with the child..........she may still end up getting money from him. Legally she won't have to pay him back because he acknowledged paternity and took the legal responsibility for the child...........he shouldn't have signed if he wasn't sure. The fact that she didn't tell him............who would....either way........I don't think she 's going to be screwed....I think you just want her to be screwed that's why you're creating all the unecessary. Haters are really something I tell you. If you don't have proof she tried to extort money from you, you won't have a case. The fact that your husband knew that the other man's name was on the birth certificate but willingly went along with for years..................makes you all's character questionable...........I think you all have just as much to lose as her. The state will do their own DNA and then make that father start paying. She will still be entitled to spousal support from her husband should they divorce. So my question is what really is your purpose behind all this.............and why didn't you question it before you got married (bait and switch).

[youknowwhatitis]

Canice I actually think the law will be on her side.......she can easily argue that she wasn't sure who the father was and her husband was a likely candidate. Even with the affair it'll more than likely not end up being considered fraud. Worse case scenario he get's out of paying, your hubby ends up on the birth certificate and paying and he gets 2 weekends a month....but not if she's deployed or lives in another state. Texas is a mother state so I'm pretty sure she will end up okay. If what she is really after is money she'll just get it from your man. And if her husband has really bonded with the child..........she may still end up getting money from him. Legally she won't have to pay him back because he acknowledged paternity and took the legal responsibility for the child...........he shouldn't have signed if he wasn't sure. The fact that she didn't tell him............who would....either way........I don't think she 's going to be screwed....I think you just want her to be screwed that's why you're creating all the unecessary. Haters are really something I tell you. If you don't have proof she tried to extort money from you, you won't have a case. The fact that your husband knew that the other man's name was on the birth certificate but willingly went along with for years..................makes you all's character questionable...........I think you all have just as much to lose as her. The state will do their own DNA and then make that father start paying. She will still be entitled to spousal support from her husband should they divorce. So my question is what really is your purpose behind all this.............and why didn't you question it before you got married (bait and switch).

[Chalan]

Canice- You did the right thing. Men tend to be blinded at times when it comes to the BM. The BDs believe some of the most ridiculous stories some BMs will tell in attempt to control the BD. I’m sure others told your DH to get a paternity test but he ignored the advice. Maybe he needed the advice from you. Maybe you needed to open his eyes and help him obtain his legal rights. Without those rights, we both know how things would have gone down. That BM would probably get money every chance she got, and I’m sure it wouldn’t have all been used on the child. Better yet, why should he pay for a child that isn’t his. We all want to help others but not be taken advantage of. I wonder how youknow would feel if her BD had another child and the CS was reduced. She might have a different opinion of interfering in the BDs life.

Youknow talks constantly about getting what’s hers. That’s great that she and others BM have time to play games. It’s great that they have time to focus on the BDs so much. I don’t. That’s not the life I want to lead. Pining over some man that doesn’t want me.

Continue to be supportive of your man. I think you are doing the right thing!

[canice]

You know tellit your right Texas is a mother state. And I hope the law does see fit to recognize the right father on the birth certificate. See honey where you got me messed up is you think I look for drama like yourself......... NO NO NO honey. I have class and want the right thing to be done for this child. See I know Co-parenting can work. And love between a parent and a child can rise above any kind of drama or hate. I knew what I was getting in to and my husband knew that I was the woman that would always have is back, keep him grounded and lead him in the RIGHT direction as I do our children. So please stop looking for drama here. You can just look at me a BM, wifey, daughter, and sister who was taught the difference between right and wrong that is trying to do the right thing. Money comes and goes but the goodness in my heart and the steps in life that I take will make sure that me and mine are always taken care of. And even though I did not give birth to her. I consider her one of mine and I will make sure that the right thing is done on my behalf toward that child.

[canice]

I am sorry I keep getting tellit and youknow mixed up. I don't want to insult tellit, by doing that. Lets face it they are both on 2 different levels in this game.

[memyslfni]

Hi Canice and Welcome...I read ur post the other day and it reminded me so much of my fiance's prior situation...In my honey's case...he was incarcerated while she got preggos by some other dude and when he got home she told him it was his...Its so sad, the length of manipulation these bm's would go to just to get that extra dollar... I am proud to say that I am a BM with sense..and it has never been and never will be that serious...Your doing the right thing by standing by your man and helping him to see that THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA...LOL... ;D

[youknowwhatitis]

What you all are missing out on is that the child is HIS........DNA proved it and you all Canice and BD are missing out on that childs life because of DNA and money............tell me that's justifiable??? You are making it seem as if it's the BM's fault...........but no her situation is her situation not anyone else's to tell her how to handle it. One thing I do on this board is give my advice or opinion but in real life I would never tamper in somebody else's affairs. And Canice that's what I feel like you did. And even if you all get the child back.........she will be so brainwashed against you all ............unnecessarily that it won't be the same. What I'm saying is that sometimes once you do something..........it's done...........and you can never take it back............just like sometimes what you say is said and you can never take it back.........what's done is done..........and there will be damage....but was the damage worth it.......in this case Canice I don't think so. All your Dh really had to do is to record her attempting to extort money from him and threaten to take her to court.........because extortion is illegal and tell her ass to shape up or she ain't getting nuts..........and if I know a BM she would've shaped up. Also real talk..........your DH ain't that dum...........he knew what he did with ole girl and he knew that baby was his that's why he went along with the arrangement. No man is going to play himself like that knowing that a woman is married to another man. You are focusing too much on her............and not enough on him....

My BD is not going to have any other children and if he does by that time I'll be a traveling RN making 50-60 dollars an hour..........hell he keep it..........that's chump change.

[canice]

And what you are not understanding is that the child is not brainwashed about us ......... she knows about the dna test and everything that is going on. And like most children she is willing and wanting to be apart of our family and get to know her father and his other children. And DH did know what he was doing and tried to work it out with the BM in the begining. We all got along and all agree on doing what is right for the child. When this all began we we 19, 20 so of course people make mistakes in the things that they do. But when you have a father who wants to be part of a childs life and the BM only wants him to be the father when she wants something than all of that is very difficult. If you remember from my orignal posting this has been going on for over 7 years. We looked for almost 5 after she dissapered the first time but coulkd not find her. We even got in contact with her best friend in another state about 3 years ago. She had our information but did not want to contact till she needed money.
I do believe that in my husbands heart he wanted the little girl to be his all the time. But lets face facts if you have never seen the other man involved ( the Husband) you don't know what to believe. You can't always go off looks. Hell my oldest son does not look like either me or his father. He looks like my grandmother. So real talk you can't always go after somebodies word on if a child is yours or not. That is how half these trifflin BM's get men with paternity and CS. So yes the DNA test was needed to prove that the child was my husbands, and from there the right legal steps can be taken to rectify the situation. But if the BM does not want that done we can't push her or she will dissapear for another 5 or so years. But what BM's don't understand is that children remember alot. And all you are doing is hurting the child in the end. She made the contact between us and the child and showed her the pictures of our family. She had every right to say no to the dna test. But she did not because all she saw was money. She did not see that she was gonna have to do the right thing by the law and her child to get that money. My whole reason for the dna test was not to prove a point , but to know the truth. Because me and my husband have a child together and lets face it in todays age you never know who you are hooking up with and I don't want our son to end up with his sister. It may sound stupid to some but it is a sad fact in life. There are so many people out there having kids and not thinking about the future for those kids, whether it be falling in love, or for medical reasons. At least with adoption you have some idea of what is going on. But if you don't know about you family or where you come from you don't know what to look for and lets face it ending up in love with a blood relative is more devistating as adult. That is a scar in life that you will never recover from.

[canice]

And what you are not understanding is that the child is not brainwashed about us ......... she knows about the dna test and everything that is going on. And like most children she is willing and wanting to be apart of our family and get to know her father and his other children. And DH did know what he was doing and tried to work it out with the BM in the begining. We all got along and all agree on doing what is right for the child. When this all began we we 19, 20 so of course people make mistakes in the things that they do. But when you have a father who wants to be part of a childs life and the BM only wants him to be the father when she wants something than all of that is very difficult. If you remember from my orignal posting this has been going on for over 7 years. We looked for almost 5 after she dissapered the first time but coulkd not find her. We even got in contact with her best friend in another state about 3 years ago. She had our information but did not want to contact till she needed money.
I do believe that in my husbands heart he wanted the little girl to be his all the time. But lets face facts if you have never seen the other man involved ( the Husband) you don't know what to believe. You can't always go off looks. Hell my oldest son does not look like either me or his father. He looks like my grandmother. So real talk you can't always go after somebodies word on if a child is yours or not. That is how half these trifflin BM's get men with paternity and CS. So yes the DNA test was needed to prove that the child was my husbands, and from there the right legal steps can be taken to rectify the situation. But if the BM does not want that done we can't push her or she will dissapear for another 5 or so years. But what BM's don't understand is that children remember alot. And all you are doing is hurting the child in the end. She made the contact between us and the child and showed her the pictures of our family. She had every right to say no to the dna test. But she did not because all she saw was money. She did not see that she was gonna have to do the right thing by the law and her child to get that money. My whole reason for the dna test was not to prove a point , but to know the truth. Because me and my husband have a child together and lets face it in todays age you never know who you are hooking up with and I don't want our son to end up with his sister. It may sound stupid to some but it is a sad fact in life. There are so many people out there having kids and not thinking about the future for those kids, whether it be falling in love, or for medical reasons. At least with adoption you have some idea of what is going on. But if you don't know about you family or where you come from you don't know what to look for and lets face it ending up in love with a blood relative is more devistating as adult. That is a scar in life that you will never recover from.