Crazzziiiinnneeeessss

[canice]

Well first off me and my husband have been together of 9 years. I entered the marriage with a child and he did also. At first me and the BM got along fine.When me and my husband were only dating she would call all the time for money and he would give it to her, I would never say anything because that was his thing. Well after we got married it got ugly. She would call on Monday for $100 and then again on Wednesday. So I started getting noisy. See the BM was engaged to one man and messing with my husband before we met. She got pregnant and my husband never knew till he came back from a deployment and the baby was 5 months old and the BM had married her fiance. So her husband is on the birth certificate and has never know about her fling with another man. So when we got together he told me he had a baby and I was cool. But I started asking why he was not on the birth certificate and why he did not have legal child support agreement with her. You know to cover himself and give him his rights to the child. Well we had a son together and while I was pregnant he deployed again and one day he call his BM to check on his daughter and she told him if he did not send her $500 he would never see his daughter again. So I changed her on it. I told her that I would pay for the DNA test to find out who was the true father of the child her husband or mine. Well that was 02 and she disappeared after that we only saw her once after that. And with us being military we move around alot. In 06 I got ahold of her best friend and told her we still wanted the DNA test to find out who the real father of the child was. But she refused to make contact with us till this June in 08. We finally got the DNA test. And the baby is my husbands. But her and her husband are separated and she filed child support against him a couple years ago. So he has a court child support order on him. Now we ended up paying for the DNA test because she kept coming up with excuses on why she could not come up with her half which was $272.50 so we just did it because my husband was deploying again. She kept saying no matter what she was not gonna be looking for child support (which we knew was a lie), she just wanted the little girl to know who her father is. Well she has not told her husband, but she called it to stop the child support against him. (Which you can't just call in) and she has been trying to do a private agreement with us. Well we sent her $125 dollars which she got Saturday. And just like clock work she called on Wednesday wanting more. When I told her no more $ till she got the child support on her husband stopped and did the proper paperwork to make my husband the rightful and legal father, she went off. And is now stopping any communication between us and the little girl knowing my husband is in Iraq and the little girl was already calling him daddy and me mommy #2.

She is so sad because and once again I called her on it. I again all she was after in money from 2 men on the same child. I am just so mad because there is a little girl out there who is going to be hurt by all this. And some how I am again the bad guy for making the mom do the right thing. But I will be that as long as my husband get to be around his daughter and in her life.

This drama with her mother is never ending. She wants to use her child for money and that just pisses me off. Plus her husband who does not know the truth about the little girl is out there somewhere being punished for her lies.

[jaylady999]

first off, welcome to the site!!

the BM that you are dealing with is bringing a whole new level to BMD. this wanch is actually trying to extort money from 2 different men for one child. one man (your DH) knows its his and does what he has to for his child (which he should no doubt). but another man, completely oblivious to the fact that this is not even his daughter?? she is bringing BMD to an all new low with her shyt.

first off, i cant stand females who are pregnant and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this child could be belong to one of two men(or three or four, the very *friendly* person) but to not get a test done in the very beginning tells me that she is completely triflin

do you have any access at all to her soon to be ex?? if so, i would definitely spill the beans to him. the worse that could happen is (gasp) she would take your DH to court for child support. but thats what yall want and need anyway, so things can be on paper on your end. the situation is potentially complicated, but all i know is that she shouldnt be trying to collect two checks for one baby. how old is the child now at this point?

[youknowwhatitis]

Real talk.........it sounds liket to me that you're hating. If your husband accepted the child it was not YOUR place to ask for a DNA test or anything else. If that's the way it was being handled...that's the way it should've stayed handled. Point blank. If you didn't challenge it before you were wifey...........why should wifey status all of sudden make you want to change how something is being done. Now as far as her getting CS from two men it is not right but it is HER business. Not YOURS. Are you mad because you can't get CS from two men for you and DH's child? If her husband is paying and assumed legal responsiblity for the child under the law he is still liable even if the DNA test proves he is not the biological father. It seems as if you are hating on BM hard....if BD wasn't asking for a DNA test.............no DNA test should have been done or needed. You are dipping and dabbing where you don't belong and the sad part is you cost him a relationship with his daughter. And as far as her paying half on the DNA test............you all wanted you all should pay for it in entirety. I do not blame this women for no longer dealing with you. You cannot run her life or how she handles her business. You all ought to be glad that she told you and DH the truth and didn't try to pass the child off as her husbands which would've been so much easier. Personally I think you are dead wrong and you have interfered into something that is not your business. And tellit..........don't give me the marriage spiel.......he was doing for that child before they got marriage and that marriage shouldn't change anything.

Now, as far as BM threatening to take the child away..........no she shouldn't have done that. But what I think she was trying to say is that if he want's to have contact with his daughter he needs to help out with her. Whatever went on and what was signed between her and her husband....ex husband whoever is none of your business as her BD's wife. It seems that you upset because her child is taking money away from you all's child. On top of that YOU wanted the DNA so he wouldn't just be giving her money unnecessarily. YOU ARE GREEDY AND WRONG. So if she is greedy and wrong...........you are too. Hope you learned your lesson mind your own business.........you have no right to interfere in her relationship or try to expose her for whatever she is......it's NOT you business. It's your husbands business to help support that child....the Dna TEST say's it's his. Whatever she's getting from her husband that's her business. [/b

[canice]

Well my dear Friend youknowwhoitis....... I am not hating on the BM. 1 because I have enough class to not try to extort money out of 2 men on one child. And wifey status does not make me challenge her with a DNA test that is just plain old morals, and me and my husband both discussed it and it was a joint dissuasion to get the DNA test so he would know that was his child and he would have all the proof he needed to establish paternity so that she could not play him on giving money to a child that is not his. You know what morals are right?!?!?! Oh and get your facts right there is no support on the child coming out of my husband he asked for a DNA test when he first learned of the child and gave the money for it. But like yourself a sad excuse for a BM she lied and said that the test came back as his child. But for some reason could not produce any paperwork. So of course we are gonna want proof.

And money is not what motivates me. I believe that all of our children whether they are from us together or before us should be taken care of. And all the parents involved should be adults in the situation.

And just so you know I am a BM who gets CS for my oldest son and me and his father have great relationship and I don't use my child for money out of him. Our son is special needs and the 3 of us my husband, my BD and me are all raising OUR son. Yes he is like part of the family. So if you have a problem with that suck it up and get over it. I make no excuse for wanting to do the right thing and take care of my husbands child. The BM in this situation is a money hungry woman using her child for money. And the child is now 9 so we are not talking about a baby who will have no memory of this to scare her.

And I dont worry about money. I work hard for my money to ensure that all our kids are taken care of. But I will not let some BM lie, cheat and STEAL from my husband or anyone else.

[canice]

oh yeah she married her husband 7 moths pregnant. And before you atart hating. ME and my husband were married after 5 months of meeting that is why the childs age and our time together are so close. I also have a 9 year old. And no he did not leave his BM for me. She was already with he husband way before I even met him. And passing her child off as the child of the highest payer when ever she needed money.

[youknowwhatitis]

And when you get done talking.........I'm sure you are the one who brought up the DNA test because it seem's like he was rolling with it. When you get done........her life is her life not your business to intervene or mess with you. Where did you your morals get you.........NO WHERE you are on the board just like everyone else. It is hating plain an simple who are you supposed to be captain save a man.........get real you were hating plain and simple. And you created a mess.

Karma will always get a person in the end if she isn't or wasn't right karma will get her in the end. You don't need to intervene in HER situation. Point plank.

[canice]

Her situation?!?!?! u mean her lies, see if you want child support you get dna testing to prove who the father is. And just so you know she was all for the dna testing because she did not have proof of who the father was. I don't need to save anybody. But if you want to claim a father and cry for money then you need to do the right thing to ensure that the proper father of the child is legally known. I am doing what my husband wants me to do because he is deployed and can't handle the situation from a war zone.

[jaylady999]

And when you get done talking.........I'm sure you are the one who brought up the DNA test because it seem's like he was rolling with it. When you get done........her life is her life not your business to intervene or mess with you. Where did you your morals get you.........NO WHERE you are on the board just like everyone else. It is hating plain an simple who are you supposed to be captain save a man.........get real you were hating plain and simple. And you created a mess.

Karma will always get a person in the end if she isn't or wasn't right karma will get her in the end. You don't need to intervene in HER situation. Point plank.

youknowhat,

i know your main purpose for this site is to side with the BM's of the world, but um, really? Are you really darn near defending a triflin azz BM who is out there getting child support from one man(who its been proven he is not the father of her child) and then threatening the man who actually is the father that if he doesnt give her a check, he wont see his daughter? you are not really doing that are you?

it doesnt matter how you try to twist it, and i dont care who asks for the blood test, if it were me and i knew the BM was clearly dealing with two men at the same time on a constant, as the wife, i would have been after a DNA test too. becuz they are married, his money and what happens to it does affect her. THIS IS HER HUSBAND.

i've never discussed this part of my BM situation on this board but when my husband was 19 y/o, he had a chick lay a baby on him and he didnt request a blood test at the time(young and dumb) and agreed the baby was his, BASED ON HER WORD ALONE. 15 years later, we find out this child is not his. so now he is in court fighting child support after the state took his $5500 income tax refund earlier this year(PART OF THAT BELONGED TO ME becuz we claimed our son on our taxes along with his daughter), i am paying for a situation that happened back in 1992 and i didnt meet my husband until 2001. we are going to get it back, but we've had to go to child support court to undue what this triflin chick did to him. so dont tell the young lady in the situation here that she has nothing to do with it. THIS IS HER HUSBAND, and it has everything to do with her.

[youknowwhatitis]

Jaylady you are wrong...........that's the same Sh*t tellit would try to say. The man has no legal responsibility for the child whatsoever.........it doesn't affect her. NOT at ALL. If the man claimed the child and is taking care of it and was before they got married IT IS NOT her business. She is hating on the BM plain and simple.

If he stops taking care of the child no BM has to jump through someone's hoops to get their child taken care of. If he doesn't pay she still has support coming from her husband. So get real....this doesn't affect her at all. No more than she made it by getting involved. That woman is not going to change her situation to suit them so if that means them not seeing the child....so be it. It's not whether I agree it is what it is.

[youknowwhatitis]

Actually tellit.............your post made me laugh. Unfortunately you are wrong.........Wifeys hate BM's because were tappin your man's money so you try to maneveur and scheme to try make your cause better. But as I have stated previously.........I'm all about my money I am now getting 850.00 a month from BD and I am very happy with that. My only concern is the drama 3rd party input causes regarding the situation. So no tellit.....I dont hate you wifeys (as you say I call it) because ultimately.........I'll always be top dog concerning mine........wifey or no wifey. Long as he paying........from me there will be peace. Maybe you need to reread the Bill of Rights.

And if she does do that it will be her azz that's grass because that is illegal to be collecting CS from 2 men legally. But it's still not her business and that's why they DONT see the child. Either way BM still getting a check. He's not getting to see the child. She hasn't lost anything.

[canice]

tellit and youknow see where you are both wrong is the fact that she has an order out on her husband but he stopped paying so now she is back to bother me and mine. We have said that we would pay the child support but she has to stop the order on her husband and name the rightfull father on the birth certificate. Which she does not want to do because that will mess up her game.

I don't her. I hate what she is doing to her child. we have already established a relationship with the child and want to do the right thing by her. Money is not an issue her. But having everything legal is. That is why we asked for the DNA test and for the proper leagal steps to be taken to have the child taken care of.

[canice]

your BM in this situation is so money hungry she gave me her husbands full name and social because she will do and say anything to get money. But does not want to tell her husband that is not his child. So seriously if you think I am not concered for my husband in the situation you are wrong. Hell I worry for her husband and I don't even kn ow the man. Plus the fact that she has another man who she has a 4 year old with and is not willing to divorce her own husband because of some sick sence of if she does he wins. Because he can go on with his life. These are all words and facts that she has told me on the phone. When she was playing nice to try to get us to give her money.

[youknowwhatitis]

And tellit.........I'm so glad that he don't. Cause I"m having a good time spending his money. And not having to be bothered with him or his fam. ;D We'll see if he shows up at the party! ;D

[youknowwhatitis]

I see where you're going with this Canice. For once feel you......same thing my BD's mom tried to do.........play nice to me to try to get my son's social security number and then when it didn't work......the rest is history. And I understand it is probably difficult because you all have already bonded with the child.

[canice]

you are a sick individual and if all you are about is money. What about your child and having a father there. You are gonna reap what you are doing. You will have nothing your child will hate you and you will hate yourself for the stupid things you say and have done.