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Post by Freckels on Apr 18, 2014 7:14:37 GMT -5
I have been with mh fiance for almost 2 years now. We have BM drama. The first one I get along with wonderfully. The 2nd is a NYPD officer and thinks she is above the law and still tries to control him. She is just bitter because after 12yrs of being in this man's life she no longer has her way. He pays his child support. She only lets him see them " IN " her house. He cannot bring them home cuz she doesnt want them to meet me ever! He is trying to keep the peace. Now she is in his momma's ear and she told him to leave me or lose her. I dont know what has transpired in the last 2 days but I believe he is much happier. I have decided to not ask about his mom or BM # 2 and concentrate on our relationship. Thus far 2 weeks have past and we are happy no fighting or arguing because I realized that all she was doing was causing termoil in our household and we let her. Let's see where this leads....
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Post by The Helpless on Jul 17, 2014 17:55:56 GMT -5
It's quite sad how much drama one person can cause.... or how much hatred can grow inside someone. My fiance and I are moving in together in a couple of weeks.. so exciting! He told his daughter's mother and she flipped.... saying we can no longer have her on weekends like we have for the passed year b/c according to her, his daughter doesn't like me and doesn't feel comfortable around me... when just last weekend she told me she loved me and wouldn't stop taking "selfies" with me while hugging me...How does that make sense? I understand she is the mom, and I have never wanted to take her place nor will I ever..b/c a mother is a mother forever. Now, she wants to take us to court for child support and for me to stay away.... why is she taking my fiance's child away when he has always been amazing daddy to her? Since the beginning I have wanted to meet up and talk with her but she has always said no... Don't you think she should know who her daughter is around when she's not with her mother? I know I would! Unfortunately, the relationship didn't work out 3 years ago!! and when she left him she said he can live his own life b/c she didn't love him anymore...well, that's exactly what he did. He moved on, we are so in love, happy and blessed to be starting this new chapter in our lives. Sad it is starting off like this. I get it, she's a woman, she's a mother and must be feeling sad, jealous, maybe angered? but if he is making the best of his life then why can't she? Why say hurtful lies (lies have been said since Day 1) and take her away from this family? We are all adults here, I would really really enjoy having a mature, respectful conversation with her to fix any problems or misunderstandings and maybe her getting to know me would give her a little bit of peace and stop making our lives miserable.... but until then we live with this burden of always expecting problems from her :/ What Can I or We do to all be happy? We would love to have her home for the arrival of her baby brother <3
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Post by nomoredrama on Jul 21, 2014 5:59:51 GMT -5
Number 1: The BM isn't taking "US" to court. She is taking HIM to court. You don't have a dog in the fight. It is not YOUR kid, it is his. What is the problem with the BM taking him to court? He should welcome it. Let the court order the CS and pay what is ordered. While he is at it, he should file for visitation/custody. Let the court order a parenting schedule. As long as there is no court order, he has to follow the schedule that the BM desires, which gives her control. Take the control out of the BM's hands.
And, stop stressing yourself out concerning his affairs. It is his kid, I will say again. It is not your responsibility to fight for visitation with his kid. It is his fight. You concentrate on bringing a healthy baby into this world. Don't let the BM stress you out with her foolishness. Just remember, "Not my kid. Not my problem".
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Anna James Anderson
Guest
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Post by Anna James Anderson on Aug 26, 2014 6:44:50 GMT -5
Testimony of my life!!
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Post by stepmom1of3 on Oct 30, 2014 14:42:51 GMT -5
I have been dealing with this for over 3 years. I haven't met her or talked to her. I have never tried to keep my husband from his child. We started dating a couple months after she found out she was pregnant (was a weekend fling - not a relationship). We felt it was best to keep any information about me from her as it was none of her business at the time since we were a new couple. She has threatened, blackmailed, calls him every name in the book if he doesn't do exactly what she wants when she wants it. He has tried to do the right thing. He even paid for dna test to be done since she never actually filed any papers with the court to prove paternity. He has paid support since the child was born. She stalks our social media, has called his family trying to stir up problems. He has zero contact with her at this point due to her actions. Any response required I send on his behalf (with his permission) because all she really wants is contact with him - to see him, hear from him, etc. It seems like she is still trying to get my husband to leave me and be with her.
I have never been rude or mean in any written communication with her - only facts - she is always snippy and rude in response.
Any advice to get her to stop with the constant contact with stupid questions or asking the same thing over and over again? ignoring her unless a direct response regarding the child is necessary is what we have been doing.
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soon to be ex fiance
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Post by soon to be ex fiance on Apr 16, 2017 7:36:56 GMT -5
so my bf bm hates me so much to the point I'm not allowed around there kids I have done nothing to warrant this ,Now I'm also a bm too I have had sm my parents split when I was 13 . bf and I have been together for 4 years in that time I have seen the children about 6 or so times .each time shes gone ballistic. saying I don't want that b around my kids . justthis year she got a bf herself now she wants the kids around her bf that she has only known for 3 months my bf went off said no you don't know this man so they decided that neither of us is allowed around the kids . problem is this he cuts me off totally and spends majority of his time with the kids I don't mind that at all but when you take time that was for us and give it away we got an issue.i don't want to take this womens place ever aint no way its even possible she is there mother always will be I just want want be there friend and support for them both that's it we have been talking about getting married but how is that going to happen when these 2 argue every other day I think there have way too much say in eachothers live the kids well being is one thing but I cant go to family functions cause she tells him he cant see his kids or she tells him break it of or you cant see the kids after 4 years of this I'm bout done .idont know any more
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dee
New Member
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Post by dee on Nov 26, 2017 14:02:25 GMT -5
Tried this...didn't work...things got even worse..constantly saying she is having sex with him....need a good reply...."Well if you feel the need to tell me this...you must think Im a very significant person in your life. You are not the least significant in my life so please understand why I consider you a non-person until you choose to let it go and behave like a mature adult. As you know, you can have him back in your life anytime, I want him happy, but he keeps living with me,...like I told you...so what is your point?"
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Post by Dee1001 on May 14, 2019 22:08:13 GMT -5
Me and my husband have been together 7 years married 6 months . As soon as we got married his daughter stop talking and seeing him.her Mother is encouraging this behavior. Both of them hate me lie on me . Babymama still try's to go to all his family gathering. My husband try's to get his daughter to talk to him with no reply. They never was married never got court ordered visitation nor child support but he pays 400.00 a month. I feel so sorry for my husband he is heartbroken over how his daughter is doing. Any advice?
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