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Post by slick on Apr 15, 2010 13:57:43 GMT -5
you'll be back singing a different tune Yvonne....when she takes her BD back from you on your watch....
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 15, 2010 14:05:41 GMT -5
**SNICKERS**
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Post by SORRY on Apr 15, 2010 21:47:36 GMT -5
All you females in here are drama.
Your so insecure your man is gonna leave for not only his "Baby mama" aka his Child's mother that you have to go on the internet to cry about it. You try and make it seem like it's her having issues with you being a new woman, and perhaps it is but really the men should leave your messy behinds alone too!
And if Yvonne's man does go, she at least sounds grown enough to let him if she's grown enough to be a woman to another woman.
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 3:33:58 GMT -5
Its not her job to be a grown woman to another woman, she doesnt have anything to do with that man raising his child. Thats just a typical case of a female sticking her nose where it doesnt belong. To me, the insecurity is more on her part for trying to befriend the BM in the first place. The saying 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer' comes to mind. Thats insecurity.
I am not now nor have I ever been insecure about DH when it comes to his BM, so therefore, I have no desire to have her in my life. DH can deal with her just fine on his own without my help. So now who's insecure?
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Post by Doin on Apr 16, 2010 11:53:19 GMT -5
Wait a minute, I have to add my 2 cents here cuz I don't think that being insecure applies to EVERYONE'S reasoning in wanting to create a situation where all parties get along. I tried being cool with BM, not out of insecurity, but out of wanting to do the right thing and hoping that it could make the sitch better for ALL of us, particularly my SS. I could say that it's insecurity that would drive you not to want that, but I know that couldn't apply to ALL situations either. Either way, the whole point here is that these are families and children we are discussing and when the adults in question can't even behave respectfully towards one another then I truly believe this is when it is best for the adults to keep a clear distance, whatever the reason. Yvonne seems to have an ideal situation on her hands, however, when boundaries start getting crossed whether it is Yvonne or BM, trust me there will be issues. I think the problem usually lies in where there is no clear expectation on the BM's part and the SM's part going into the relationship. Not sure if Yvonne's discussed this particular thing with her BM, but it would be interesting to find out whether or not they've had conversations about what they both would consider disrespectful or crossing boundaries with one another.
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 12:13:36 GMT -5
IMO its one thing to have a sitch where everyone gets along, but to actually have a sit down to appease BM to see what her problem is for the sake of children that dont even belong to me? I just dont see the purpose.
I am the BM who gets along well with most all the GFs that have crossed BDs path(all but the last one who just overall issues to begin with) and I still dont see a need for us to be friends, hang out, be buddies or anything of that nature. Me parenting my child has nothing to do with any other female on the face of this earth, so uh, nope, no need for all of that.
You know yourself how well me and C get along, but I keep on a level of if I see her in passing, we chit chat, hug, catch up on each others lives, etc. But I'd never in a milliion years call her up to go shopping with me or to have drinks or anything else. I just dont see where it would ever end well because for one, females are very funny acting that way to where all it takes is one misunderstanding and the entire sitch will blow up in flames.
As for the BM in my own sitch, she can kick rocks. Whatever her issues are, they belong to her and I'd never entertain her or her issues. She's is the furthest thing from my concern.
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Post by memyslfni on Apr 16, 2010 12:47:34 GMT -5
Jay, Doin ~ We already know the described sitch is wayyy beyond necessary...SMH. Next thing you know they'll be sharing each other panties..Llz.
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 12:58:45 GMT -5
This is the part that got me in the original post:
and she and I get along great now. And when I say great I mean we get together to go shopping for baby girl and do other things together, my man didn't like it at first but he noticed how much better our (his and mine) relationship was getting as well as how much easier it was to be around his ex.
Ok, first off, my relationship with my DH will NEVER EVER succeed or fail based upon his BM. She doesnt have that much power, she never has. And secondly, who wants to be around his ex?? I cant think of one single solitary reason that calls for me as the wife to be around his kids mother. He does drop offs and pick ups and on the off occasion I do ride with him, I stay in the car until he gets the kids, no biggie. BM is honestly just not important enough to be in my presence and I'd never give her a reason to think she is. ;D
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Post by just saying on Apr 16, 2010 13:12:08 GMT -5
im just saying what I see from the outside looking in, as a un-bias perspective and I kind of take it as ms. JAYLADY999 may have something deeper she is trying to cover up with the whole "Im so confident and have no concern or care about BM" cherade. I get the vibe it may be more of an act to cover up REAL insecurities. I know a lot of women who play the whole confident and in control act only to find it is b/c they honestly do have insecurities or are possibly too intimidated by the BM or WIFE that they dont want to face her and see what she is really about b/c the unknown seems so much safer. I think we all have our ways of dealing with this topic and they may all work out well for each of us. I dont find room to judge whether or not one idea is right or wrong, its a matter of opinion and has room for disagreement.
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Post by Just saying on Apr 16, 2010 13:27:15 GMT -5
All you females in here are drama. Your so insecure your man is gonna leave for not only his "Baby mama" aka his Child's mother that you have to go on the internet to cry about it. You try and make it seem like it's her having issues with you being a new woman, and perhaps it is but really the men should leave your messy behinds alone too! And if Yvonne's man does go, she at least sounds grown enough to let him if she's grown enough to be a woman to another woman. ***AGREE*** |
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 13:27:54 GMT -5
im just saying what I see from the outside looking in, as a un-bias perspective and I kind of take it as ms. JAYLADY999 may have something deeper she is trying to cover up with the whole "Im so confident and have no concern or care about BM" cherade. Its far from a charade, trust me. Charades dont last a decade. I have a full time job, a business to run, and a child to raise. BM doesnt even flicker on the radar amongst things that are important to me. Besides I am lucky enough to have married a man who knows how to deal with the woman HE had kids with and leave me out of it. All of this while maintaining a lovely relationship with my skids that has nothing at all to do with their mother.  I get the vibe it may be more of an act to cover up REAL insecurities. HilariousI know a lot of women who play the whole confident and in control act only to find it is b/c they honestly do have insecurities or are possibly too intimidated by the BM or WIFE that they dont want to face her and see what she is really about b/c the unknown seems so much safer. Yeah...NO. Its really very simple. I have better things to do than to worry about anybodys BM. Not even my husbands.I think we all have our ways of dealing with this topic and they may all work out well for each of us. I dont find room to judge whether or not one idea is right or wrong, its a matter of opinion and has room for disagreement. Ok, so why is the way that I chose to handle the sitch a charade then? I will tell you one thing, you can count the issues that I've personally had with BM on .....well wait a minute, you cant even count it. I dont have BMD issues, I never have. Oh wait, let me take that back, she did call my phone once and tried to check me about something that didnt have anything to do with either of her kids. I said my peace to her, shut her the hell up by shutting her down, hung up and changed my home phone number. Easy peasy. ;D
In short, I DONT DO DRAMA |
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Post by just saying on Apr 16, 2010 13:35:23 GMT -5
JAYLADY999 I see you have been a member of this site for quite some time.....That brings me to ask why someone with NO KNOWLEDGE of BABY MAMA DRAMA (hence, the website name) has come to this particular named website to rant on something they know nothing of? I cant see myself belonging to a Harley mototcycle or Fishing and Boating website b/c I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE or EXPERIENCE with such. That brings me to my question, so WHY JAYLADY999 are you a member of a site in which you have NOTHING in common?
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Post by just saying on Apr 16, 2010 13:43:29 GMT -5
Do I leave you speechless JAYLADY999?  Havent met your match yet have you? Well I think you've been introduced.....just saying  |
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 13:44:52 GMT -5
JAYLADY999 I see you have been a member of this site for quite some time.....That brings me to ask why someone with NO KNOWLEDGE of BABY MAMA DRAMA (hence, the website name) has come to this particular named website to rant on something they know nothing of?
I actually found this site looking for material for a book that I am writing, thanks for asking. And from there, I have found friendships in the ladies that are here that I know will last a lifetime. And to be perfectly honest, after I started posting here, I began to get a different type of drama. It was from an over exerting girlfriend of my BD, so I was on a different side of the coin dealing with a woman who felt she was entitled to be in my life as a BM simply because she was in a relationship with my sons father.
I cant see myself belonging to a Harley mototcycle or Fishing and Boating website b/c I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE or EXPERIENCE with such. That brings me to my question, so WHY JAYLADY999 are you a member of a site in which you have NOTHING in common?
Because I do have a lot in common with the regular posters(well the ones who use to post here, we know have another site elsewhere). Most of the ladies who you will find that post here actually have minimal drama as well, but we do like to share our experiences with other ladies who do have drama. Trust me, a lot of ladies have come away from this site with a lot of insight.
The BM in my life would have been one to cause drama IF I HAD ALLOWED HER TO. But I dont and she got the memo. She knows I love her kids and cant do anything except respect it. The worse thing she can say about me is that I married the man who she felt entitlement to since she birthed two of his children. She's still not quite over it and we've been together for 9 years. But I refuse to let her problems become my problems. I have better things to do. However, I dont have a problem posting my experiences with BM(or the lack of due to no accident) and even the experiences I've had with BD's girlfriend, although happy to say, she is HISTORY
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 13:45:33 GMT -5
Do I leave you speechless JAYLADY999? Havent met your match yet have you? Well I think you've been introduced.....just saying  |
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Havent met your match yet have you? Well I think you've been introduced.....just saying 
