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Post by just saying on Apr 16, 2010 13:50:17 GMT -5
*****SNICKERS*****
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 13:50:57 GMT -5
Xactly  |
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Post by memyslfni on Apr 16, 2010 15:21:35 GMT -5
Ain't nothing going on in a situation like that but a bunch of fakeness and sizing each other up...I'll pass on the BS.
BM over here keeps talking about a group dinner which includes her, her hubby, their kids, me, so, and our kids. But a part of me is not to enthused about taking part in anyone's pitty party. Looks can be very deceiving but if it was meant to happen, it will. Just not on my list of things to do.
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Post by Doin on Apr 16, 2010 15:30:59 GMT -5
OMG!! WHAT is SNICKERS ANYWAY? Is that like sucking your teeth? lol
Well back to the subject. Jay, I hear you on that hanging out thing with BM. I did that too, but it was uncomfortable at times. NOT ALL. It was always BM who invited me to her place I went twice. I did invite her over for Dinner, but with the family. Dh, and ALL of our children. She said she was hungry and I invited her in. Had I knew for one second that this would be the start of her intrusive behavior. It would have NEVER happened. I didn't know what to expect, I took a chance and I had a good time. Yet, who wants to continually hang out with someone and know that there is the possibility of tension and an uncomfortable atmosphere can ensue. So with that I truly agree. When it had to do with SS, I was good, because WE, my dh and our children were all there, but when it was just me witih BM it could get awkward. THEN she started inviting Dh and I to christmas parties at her sisters and thanksgiving and other major holidays that I'd rather spend with MY and my Dh's family. So those NEVER happened. I started backing away from that, but you know my story with BM and I can't sit here and say that I have NO insecurities. Yet I can say VERY sincerely that I wanted to be cool with BM simply because I thought it would be the mature, and considerate thing to do for SS AND my Dh. It was never because my relationship with my Dh hinged on it, or because I was trying to keep my enemy close. I was trying to give it a chance and it just didn't work out. I think that the bottom line is that there has to be good intentions on both sides or else it won't work.
You were able to get along with C and even have a relationship with her outside of your son. It may not be that you "hang out" per say, but you do spend time around eachother at times (getting your eybrows waxed). C doesn't try to infringe on your time with your son and based on things you've discussed, C seems to be genuine and this is why you've been able to have a relationship. There is a mutual respect. I'm sure if BM in your case did this, you'd be cool with her too.
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 16:19:29 GMT -5
Ain't nothing going on in a situation like that but a bunch of fakeness and sizing each other up...I'll pass on the BS.
BM over here keeps talking about a group dinner which includes her, her hubby, their kids, me, so, and our kids. But a part of me is not to enthused about taking part in anyone's pitty party. Looks can be very deceiving but if it was meant to happen, it will. Just not on my list of things to do.
Exactly! I remember when BM finally got her a man and then all of a sudden wanted to hang out with me and DH when all the previous years before she tried to pretend like I didnt exist(which was a-ok with me by the way). Yeah, I dont think so. I been with my husbnd for almost a decade, your approval I do not need. Sorry sista
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 16, 2010 16:21:32 GMT -5
You were able to get along with C and even have a relationship with her outside of your son. It may not be that you "hang out" per say, but you do spend time around eachother at times (getting your eybrows waxed). C doesn't try to infringe on your time with your son and based on things you've discussed, C seems to be genuine and this is why you've been able to have a relationship. There is a mutual respect. I'm sure if BM in your case did this, you'd be cool with her too.
Doin, you know what it was with me and C? Whenever I saw her, it had nothing to do with DS. We didnt get together to try and get along for the sake of my son. She does my moms eyebrows and lashes(and she's fierce). Nothin personal, strictly business. Plus, C is cool people. Like you said, she knows what a boundary is, and I've done nothing less than maintain my BM boundaries from the very beginning. So it works for us. ;D
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Post by amill on Apr 17, 2010 8:37:47 GMT -5
Lord Jesus...
I have to take a deep breath real quick *woosah*
For real, who has time to deal with a woman who has issues and needs to be all up in your business?!
DBF has two BMs. BM#1 and I get along. We're cool, but we don't intrude on the others life. When SD is with her, she's with her mom and she calls to talk to us. When SD is with us, she's with us and calls her mom. We have had birthday parties together and hung out, but it's not like BM and I went shopping together or friended each other on FB. We respect each other and acknowledge that we both exist. That's enough for me.
Now, BM#2 has a chip on her shoulder and a sense of entitlement that rivals on narcissistic. She feels like because she had a baby, he should have tried to be a family with her. Instead, he met me and started a serious relationship, which pissed her off. She's intruded in our relationship one too many times. Now, for us to sit down and talk it out ---Hell no! I would be in jail. This triflin heifer has never respected our relationship. DBF changed his number several times because her foolish nonsense - sending naked pics of herself and calling all hours of the night! I'm not insecure and if he wanted to be with her, he would be. I don't give one iota about her and I choose to believe that out of sight out of mind. Her whole purpose to even sit down with me at any point would be to size me up, see what DBF is doing for me and how we live, and just be all up in our business. pregnant dog, back up and get off my nuts!
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Post by slick on Apr 20, 2010 15:47:21 GMT -5
Mutual respect is all that is necessary for the interaction between GF/Wife and BM. Cordiality isn't even required. A friendship is not only awkward and misplaced, but ridiculous......
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Post by just saying on Apr 21, 2010 8:07:51 GMT -5
You were able to get along with C and even have a relationship with her outside of your son. It may not be that you "hang out" per say, but you do spend time around eachother at times (getting your eybrows waxed). C doesn't try to infringe on your time with your son and based on things you've discussed, C seems to be genuine and this is why you've been able to have a relationship. There is a mutual respect. I'm sure if BM in your case did this, you'd be cool with her too. As Doin was saying....How is it Ms. Jaylady999 that you are condeming other women for making a friendship with the BM, yet here you are GETTING YOUR EYEBROWS WAXED by "C" or whatever you wanna call her? Its okay for you to get extra chummy but when someone else wants to make ammends for the sake of the situation its non sense? |
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 21, 2010 11:24:21 GMT -5
As Doin was saying....How is it Ms. Jaylady999 that you are condeming other women for making a friendship with the BM, yet here you are GETTING YOUR EYEBROWS WAXED by "C" or whatever you wanna call her? Its okay for you to get extra chummy but when someone else wants to make ammends for the sake of the situation its non sense?
Firstly, my mom is the one who gets the waxes and lashes, not me. She's done me a couple of times over the past 10 years and like I said before, strictly business, nothin personal because the girl is fierce. And she gets paid, so in other words, I was her client and my mother still is. She gets paid to do it. And its not done out of the sake of "lets be cool for the child's sake" which makes ALL the difference in the world. My son is MY SON. C has ZERO to do with that.
So that we are CORDIAL, not FRIENDS has nothing to do with my son. BIG DIFFERENCE.
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Post by just saying on Apr 21, 2010 12:27:46 GMT -5
Not really my dear, I am CERTAIN there are PLENTY of other eyebrow waxers in your city. Its okay for you but you like to talk and tell stories as if you are the all mighty baby mama with all the RIGHT answers. Not buying it-just saying......
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 21, 2010 12:44:41 GMT -5
Tee hee, apparently YOU think I am. Peesh
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Post by Angeley on May 18, 2010 20:45:03 GMT -5
I feel that everyone has a different situation your solution worked for you that great if you want to live your life that why. I feel if you have a man it should be you and your man not you your man and another woman. I wouldn't want relationship that bad you are only cheating yourself. what ever he has going on with the BM he needs to take care of that on his own. There is no way that you could get me to go to lunch to any outing with BM. You don't owe her anything. That's crazy. not a good solution. for number one I have an identiy and no one is going to take that from me. Spending time with your BF's BM is so stupid, so I guess you love catering to her in order to be with your man. Sorry, but it sounds sick. why don't you all just have a threesome. all your doing is catering to this woman still having control. Thats were the issue is. So, know she has control of you. As a girl friend all you can do is be kind to the children be thier for your man, and stay out of it.Your place is with your man not his ex.
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Post by missb469 on May 25, 2010 23:46:34 GMT -5
Yvonne
I wish me and BM could have the sort of relationship u speak of and to be honest she has tried to corner me into a so called woman to woman discussion but I just cant help but see her attempts at communication as anything other futile effort to control what is going on in the life that I have with her BD and daughter.
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Post by jaylady999 on May 26, 2010 9:03:15 GMT -5
I just cant help but see her attempts at communication as anything other futile effort to control what is going on in the life that I have with her BD and daughter.
This is about it in a nutshell. Most BMs who have moved on with their lives and are not trying to be in control of BD and his dealings with said child, have absolutely no interest in befriending the new GF.
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