|
|
Post by eyeswideopen on Jun 29, 2010 1:16:57 GMT -5
Well, I don't know about a lot of the ladies here, but I dont hang with BM in my sitch cuz she is violent and hostile. Why would I want to hang out with a woman who has egged my car, broken into my man's home 3 times, cut my tires, and the list goes on and on. This from a woman who, at the time, I had never said a sentence to.  It's not insecurity -- it's self-preservation. |
|
|
|
Post by eyeswideopen on Jun 29, 2010 1:20:22 GMT -5
yvonneb, How were you able to sit down and talk to the BM? You must be one of the lucky ones who doesn't have a violent BM in their lives.  |
|
|
|
Post by caramel1976 on Jul 2, 2010 16:33:16 GMT -5
Sometimes no matter how nice you are to the baby mama. She still wants to act a fool for no reason. They are very bitter because someone else has their man. Even though he doesn't want her anymore. Like in my case the baby mama is still pregnant. However, I decided to leave him alone. I wish women would learn that life doesn't always go as planned. People move on in life. Which means, he will most likely be with another woman at some point in his life. Women kill me who think because they have kids together, that he owes her something. All he is suppose to do is take care of his children. However, because so many baby mama's are jealous and very bitter. They do their best to make the new women's life hell on earth. All they are really doing is causing their own lifes to be stressed and full of drama.
|
|
|
|
Post by jaylady999 on Jul 7, 2010 19:00:12 GMT -5
Sometimes no matter how nice you are to the baby mama. She still wants to act a fool for no reason. They are very bitter because someone else has their man.
Wow, this is funny. First thing that needs to happen is the generalizations around here. I am a BM who is as far from bitter as it can get, BUT I have no desire to have a conversation with any GF of BDs. Why? Because I didnt have kids with her. That simple. I dont owe her anything. And the same is true in the reverse. She doesnt owe me. I dont want to be friends or buddies or talk or anything, and I dont have to. It doesnt make me bitter. I just have better things to do. I really am not all that fond of talking to BD all that much, so adding extra is just...well... unnecessary if ya ask me.
Even though he doesn't want her anymore.
I am starting to believe you keep telling yourself this in order to make you feel better about the jacked up sitch you are dealing with.
Like in my case the baby mama is still pregnant. However, I decided to leave him alone. I wish women would learn that life doesn't always go as planned. People move on in life. Which means, he will most likely be with another woman at some point in his life. Women kill me who think because they have kids together, that he owes her something.
You are right, BD owes me zilch. But he owes his child a father WITHOUT a new GF trying to be all up in the sitch.
All he is suppose to do is take care of his children. However, because so many baby mama's are jealous and very bitter. They do their best to make the new women's life hell on earth. All they are really doing is causing their own lifes to be stressed and full of drama.
I tend to agree with this, when the GF/Wife comes along AFTER kids are born. You come along before or during pregnancy and honestly, you deserve what you get. Period.
|
|
|
|
Post by aquari0216 on Aug 19, 2010 17:48:51 GMT -5
Yeah 1st BM I dealt with..yeah i didnt make it too much better (i tried to be cordial in the beginning) after a while i stooped to her level...find out later that he was leading me on and was not ready to leave her...(still legally married and told me that theyd gotten a divorce)...he's back with her after 3 yrs with me...yeah i know...BM #2 had apparently been hearing about me from his family....literally 5...yes 5 SECONDS after we meet and all i say is 'HELLO'....she steals off me and we're humbuggin....I promised myself Id never let another woman drag me back down to that level and Im doin pretty good but my patience is getting thin...everyone tells me he's done with her but I look at my last situation and idk...i actually believe he is but you never know.....INSIGHT??
|
|
|
|
Post by Cee on Nov 21, 2010 17:50:51 GMT -5
Children come "AFTER" marriage and if a woman has chosen to be a BM or concubine, I will not rearrange the Bible. God+Husband+Wife=children. That's why there are generational curses because people don't want truth and it will set you free...if you will allow it. Unfortunately, the children have to reap from these sins. It almost seems that being a BM is the way to go vs. a wife. Let's not get it twisted, a man is suppose to take care of his kids. The bottom line is he may be taking care of more than one home. So women need to considre this before involving yourself in a relationship like this!
|
|
|
|
Post by therealyouknow on Nov 22, 2010 1:32:18 GMT -5
It seem like a lot of this BM drama is about who's better. Who got chosen and who didn't get chosen. The truth is the reason's for that can be a variety of different things. Just because and man and a woman have a child doesn't mean that they simply can't grow apart. The same thing happens in marriages when they fail and the husband and wife grow apart. People need to learn how to let the past be the past. Their is always one party who wants to bring the past into the future.
Jaylady I agree a BM that has moved on with her has not a concern about BD what he is doing, who is doing, marrying or anything else. Her only concern is and should be whether or not he is being a father and provider for their child. Plain and simple.
I have realized recently.....and the board has hipped me to a lot of stuff that I was naive. Now at 27 am I really fully understanding just how schiesty females are about these men and just how schiesty a lot of people are about money. It's a difference between knowing and truly understanding.
Jaylady I too agree that some BM's maybe your DH's get stuck on this entitlement issue and fail to realize that it ultimately their responsibility to make sure all their ends meet. Now that is not to say that BD should not help and contribute but women need to learn how NOT to be dependent on these men it sets us up for FAILURE. My sitch with BD made me truly understand the power of being independent because when people think you need them sometimes they'll try to abuse or control you.
My opinion on BM versus wifey: BM needs to accept that BD has moved on do herself a favor and get over it and move on with her life. My motto is the best revenge is success. Build the best life you can for yourself and your child or children. Go to counseling to deal with any issues you have and if you simply cant get along with him (it happens) CS and visitation and leave it at that.
Wifey: Needs to accept that DH has a past and children with another woman. Instead of wielding her ring like sword she should focus her efforts on her and DH's relationship not trying to control his relationship with his BM to me it is a sign of insecurity and personal weakness. I didn't say don't monitor....but give up the need to try to control. We all know females is schiesty.
Both women can go on and be drama free and have great lives it's all in what you choose. Me personally I could care less about BD. He gets supervised visits with Jaylin for now and that's it I dont even bring him to the visits I have a family member do it.
That's how low he is on my scale. He's entitled to his relationship with our son but NOT with me. ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by caderona on Nov 22, 2010 12:31:14 GMT -5
@therealyouknow, "my motto is the best revenge is success". By making this statement, aren't you in fact admitting that it is a competition? And thus, you negate all prior affirmations about BMD is a about who is better that who.
I truly believe that it is no competition. I wish my husband's baby mama well in everything that she does I can say that my husband and I really pray for her success. Because the better her life is, the less she tries to get involved in ours. We open a bottle of champagne everytime she gets a new job or find a new man (and she always make it a point of duty to tell us ) because that means peace for US.
|
|
|
|
Post by therealyouknow on Nov 23, 2010 21:16:51 GMT -5
You caderona are stuck in the bs. Really should you be worried about your DH's BM. My point is for all your haters and people who want to tear you down whoever they may be.....success is the best revenge. Be they who they may. But it you on point and you can hold your own.....it doesn't even matter. Plain and simple.....  |
|
|
|
Post by caderona on Nov 24, 2010 14:10:03 GMT -5
@therealyouknow...Why so combative? Is that really necessary? I am never "worried" about my husband's BM. She makes it her point of duty to always tell us how great her life is, and so I always say congratulations. I never tell her about my academic, professional or any other accomplishments. Her strong desire to tell us how happy she is, to me is a sign of unhappiness. Genuinely happy people don't see the need to always call somebody, especially a stranger (because that is what I am to her) and express their happiness.
The opening a bottle of champagne when we have good news from her is really not about her but US. You see, when she is in a relationship, however short it might be, or have a job, we hear nothing from her. It is always a great , drama free time. New activity for her means no harassing phone calls, no turning up at our home, no shouting at the pick up location and no coaching her daughter to say I hit her or some other foolishness. BM is my situation is not an easy cookie.That is why we open the champagne.
To be honest though, we open a bottle of champagne quite often; when my husband finishes a new project at work, I get an A paper, I finish another chapter of my book or my best friend gets a new patient. I guess we REALLY like champagne..LOL..
I guess as you said, your comment is for "haters". I do not know what your situation is and so I cannot judge you. If it is a case where BD and his new woman tearing you down, then I can understand where you are coming from. However in my situation, my husband and I really want for his ex, to do great things because we want my step daughter to learn to dream big by example and also because she will not harass us for money, (even though we pay child support on time every month) or in any other way.
|
|
|
|
Post by appleblossom on Nov 29, 2010 20:30:23 GMT -5
I don't understand why the new girlfriend or wife should try and be friends with the BM. If I were dating a man coming out of a long term relationship, I wouldn't seek out his ex girlfriend to be my new buddy. If he has a child, it is no different. I feel that he had the baby with the other woman, I didn't. I don't need to be friends with the BM to be in the child's life. As long as I respect that BM is the mother and she respects that I am his choice for a wife, things are less complicated. She tries to talk all this mess about how she needs to know the woman that will be around her child. I believe she just has to trust the BD to make good decisions concerning their child. After all, she thought he was good enough to have a baby with in the first place. Unless by some far stretch of the imagination the wife or girlfriend falls into the psychopath or child molester category, the BM has nothing to worry about in my opinion. Just making drama where there is none.  |
|
|
|
Post by notyourmananymore on Jan 27, 2011 17:14:27 GMT -5
Sorry, not worth it....U must have had a strike as a better baby mama yourself....Sound like she may need a shrink...no fuel is added to a fire if you have never said anything to anyone. It just turns out that the person they still want is with someone else they have moved on and someone else has not. Also holding a child over someones head gets a little tired. So agian I say it's not my job to find a solution for this woman. She needs a shrink
|
|
|
|
Post by notyourmananymore on Jan 27, 2011 17:26:14 GMT -5
All you females in here are drama. Your so insecure your man is gonna leave for not only his "Baby mama" aka his Child's mother that you have to go on the internet to cry about it. You try and make it seem like it's her having issues with you being a new woman, and perhaps it is but really the men should leave your messy behinds alone too! And if Yvonne's man does go, she at least sounds grown enough to let him if she's grown enough to be a woman to another woman. ***AGREE*** You yourself sound like a bitter Babymama...It's hard to believe your on this site giving your comments your probabaly a sicko if you came here to see what is being talked about. when it doesn't concern u |
|
|
|
Post by mjenkins on Jan 30, 2011 15:16:20 GMT -5
"I truly believe that it is no competition. I wish my husband's baby mama well in everything that she does I can say that my husband and I really pray for her success. Because the better her life is, the less she tries to get involved in ours. We open a bottle of champagne everytime she gets a new job or find a new man (and she always make it a point of duty to tell us ) because that means peace for US."
Lmao. This is my sitch in a nutshell. The better her life is, the smoother things go for us.
|
|
|
|
Post by Winning on Mar 4, 2011 13:29:20 GMT -5
My husband and I have been dating since 2004 and happily married since 2010. In all that time, I have NEVER, EVER, EVER said ONE word to his BM. Not even a friendly hello in passing. I don't care to know her. We don't like each other and thats that. In my mind she's a POS and a terrible mother. All she uses him for is money and as a babysitter, because her social life is more important than to spend time with her kid on the weekends. She has no responsibility and collects unemployment and child support. I have no respect for her at all. Gosh, I wish she would move to another country. So I wouldn't have to deal with her or the kid. This would be the ideal situation for me. Sad but true.
|
|
